A man walks into a bar, buys a pint of beer, talks to his friends for while and leaves.

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Want to hear a scary story?' I was droppin a two ball and the monster walked in

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Because they practise.

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Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses the best ingredients.

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How do you sink a Polish submarine? Hit it with a torpedo.

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How do you make a baby not cry? Do not throw a brick at it. ANTI-JOKE

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Why was the baby crying? He saw a nigga

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs, lying outside of your house? An ambulance, he's clearly in trouble.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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What do you call your mother's bipolar brother with three arms? Uncle.

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What happened to the baby seal who went clubbing? He met a nice woman and contracted HIV from her after engaging in unprotected sexual intercourse after taking her to his flat.

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My heart is in my hands. Call an ambulance.

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Why did kenny the koala fall out of the tree? becuase kenny was dead. Why did kesha the koala fall out of the tree? because she was hit by kenny while he was falling.

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A black man, a Mexican man, and a cop are walking in downtown New York. So are tens of thousands of other people, because it is a very large and diverse city.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? Breaking news! An 18 wheeler has gone loose and hit a playground damaging a swing, 1 fatality and 16 children injured 5 in critical condition

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

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a guy walks into a bar.. ouch

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Your Mom is so fat she's Fat

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Why are all teachers stupid? They´re not. Why would you say that?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who's there?

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What's the best part of having sex with twenty-four year olds? There's 20 of them.

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I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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