What's worse then getting a broken bone? A large marsupial charging at you with vicious speed

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what did the chinese man say to the other asian? he said ??????

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootise pop? No, seriously, does anyone know?

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Your momma so fat.... She's at risk of cardiovascular disease. You should take her to a nutritionist.

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Why do fat people make such good slaves? They're too fat and lazy to escape. Unfortunately, if you want your slave to be fat, you actually have to feed it properly.

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1d

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k

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What's the difference between a pessimist and a magnet? One is made of flesh and can talk, think and do things. The other is made of metal and can only pull things towards itself or push them away. But strangely, the latter is a lot more welcome in most situations.

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You are basically asking if I care for you, care for me, and if this could put us both in risk... There is no picking at this stage, why would I use you?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why is it not safe for turkeys to do maths? Because they don't have the mental capacity to carry out the calculations correctly, which would be a danger in jobs such as engineering or the space industry. Furthermore, they are unable to understand the concept of numbers or symbols and therefore have no motivation to solve mathematical problems; and even if they did, they don't have the dexterity or education to write out the solutions.

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Were can you find a bag of meth?

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PhilosopherCon: "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?"

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What is white and square? A ping pong block

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Knock Knock Who is there? *bang* The following story depicts the life and death of Bob:___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________then he opened the door and was shot in the face.

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a termite walks into a bar and asks, "wheres the bar tender?"

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination" and then he was resuscitated and became an atheist.

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Robin, get in the car!

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah!

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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A black child gives away his piece of fried chicken. He is allergic, and eats some watermelon instead.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke 'er face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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