Q: what do you get when you mix a bull dog and a shiitzu? A: a dog

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Why does Eli Manning play for the Giants? Because he is huge.

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Roses are blue Violets are red Is that really What I just said?

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what do you call a black man flying a plane?? a pilot ,you racist!

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What did the paper say to the pen? Nothing, they are inanimate objects!

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dylan wishes life was like cod. that way he would actually be able to do something cool

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says, I'm sorry but you have about four to six months to live. The man goes home and checks his million dollar life insurance policy.It expires in three months.

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How do you kill a fish? You bite off its head.

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Colon Right Parentheses For all of the confused people out there that's :)

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Roses are red Violets are silly Grease up your flaps Cause here comes my willy!

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Three dogs start a club called the Holly Place Exclusive Dog Club. The Club Motto is, "You can't be in our club. Just us. Read the sign. It says "Exclusive". How is that confusing? Get away from here. Now."

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Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

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im gay

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Ben: Something smells like updog. Jenny: What's updog? Ben: Nothin' much

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Q: How many ghetto people does it take to carry a fat gorilla? A: 14

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What do an onion and a hamster have in common? They are both in my Grandma's omelette.

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If the blue dog falls out of sample object, how many bananas does my mom eat? No, because markers can't talk

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What has potential but is in fact disappointing? This joke.

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what's the worst way to fall asleep? sad. it makes you lose sleep.

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"I saw daddy with mommy last night. I think he was stealing my milk."

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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What did the cat say to the hamster? Meow

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why did the chicken cross the road? IDGAC

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your mom is so fat, she uses nutrisystem and other weight-loss systems to try to loose weight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops