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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

What do you call a group of geese? A giggle

What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

Knock knock. With the invention of doorbells, knocking has become almost obsolete.

What did one friend say on his friend's myspace page? You need a Facebook

How did the old guy die? Of death and death related symptoms.

Why's Jeds head so big? Curley wurly.

What is a light shade of beige? My bedroom wall.

What can I say, besides, the media is fighting one another now, people do have more freedom, religion is losing the grip on people, and yeah the world may be a bit grim right now, but people have chosen their own direction in life, and that is going wherever the most corrupt ones in society tell them to. And that was never different, I am not saying that you are not doing a good job, I am saying that the underground society failed, we where idealists, then we where branded criminals, without a shred of proof, I have not lost myself, and you have not lost you, why save the rest from what they enjoy?

There were a dog and a cat in a family house. The dog turned to the cat and said .. nothing because a dog can not speech the human language.

What did the pretty young girl get for her birthday? Cake and presents (get your mind out of the gutter).

Roses are red, My name is Dave, This joke is pointless, microwave.

Why did the basketball team from Detroit win the youth championship? Because they had a good coach amd dedicated, hard-working players.

How many zombies can you kill at once? about one or two unless your Chuck Norris with unlimited powers.

Q: What's gray and comes in gallons? A: Gray paint.

"If life was fair, I would have a girlfriend" - William Deane

An Asian man walked to P.F. Changs, and asked where the bathroom is.

What do you get when an elephant and a pig have baby? Nothing, mating between animals must take place between animals of the same species, thus making it impossible to cross these two animals

A Brunette, a Redhead and a Blond all jump off a cliff, which one will hit the ground last? Since the acceleration of gravity is 9.8 m/s they will all hit the ground simultaneously and with enough force to completly shatter their bodys making body recovery extreemly difficult. They must have had a hard life.

What do you call a man running away from the bus? A man

who is not good looking? mon morello

What is white and weighs twice as much as Shamoo? My ass.

What did the muslim do at the airport? He bought a ticket to New York and proceeded to fly there to mourn his brother who was killed during the terrorist attacks on 9/11.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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