If Oscar Meyer had a dog what kind of dog would it be? A Wiener Dog!!

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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Why did you fall? Because of my buttcrack.

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How does a dyslexic person read the word 'schitzophrenia'? Schitzophrenia. I leid abuot teh dyslxeia.

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What did the boy born with cancer get for christmas? ... More cancer

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Yo momma is so fat, that after boarding an airplane the flight crew respectfully asked her to deboard, as with her on board the plane would be exceeding the reccomended weight, and thus be unable to fly safely.

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a man was walking out side to get the news paper what happened next he picked up the newspaper

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a woman

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What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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If i open this door you can go trough it

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What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

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What did the Ethiopian get for Christmas? Nothing.

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A black man, a white man and an asian man jump off a building, which one will land first? Due to the equivalence principle, they will all land at the same time.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Skeletons neither have muscles nor brains to control any muscles and therefor cannot transport themselves across a road or any stretch of land for that matter.

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whats 1 + 1? 2

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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they say a rolling stone gathers... speed until it reaches maximum potential speed and cannot go any faster.

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A paraplegic walks into a bar.

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A horse walks into a bar. The Barman asks "why the long face?" The horse says "My son was recently killed in a horrific horse racing accident"

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because the amount of times people reused this joke on this site made her so annoyed much she wanted to hurt herself.

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Your momma's so fat she has a hard time finding clothes to fit

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What do you call a hindu that has radiation poisoned A radiatative hindu

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Why didn't Josh go to school? On his way to school, a majestic flying homeless man hit him in the head with a sea cucumber.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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