Q. What did the chicken do when it lost its egg? A. It went to go look for it. Q. Why was the chicken scared of the duck? A. Because it was chicken Q.Why can't chickens fly? A. Because they don't want to Q.Why can't chickens swim? A. Because they don't want to Q. Whey do chickens cluck? A. Because they want to Q. Why did the chicken jump on top of a car? A. Because it knows how Q. Why doesn't a chicken have hands? A. Because it's not human Q. What did the chicken dream about? A. Chicken dreams Q. Why was the chicken lost? A. Because it wasn't found Q. Why wasn't the chicken afriad of the dog? A. Because the chicken was blind Q. Why doesn't the chicken know how to drive a car A. Because they don't need to

Someone told me once, but i had terrible memory so I had them tell me again.

How many Jews can you fit in a Car? 2 in the front seat 3 in the back seat 5 in the trunk and a couple thousand in the Ashtray -WSS Gaming

There were three men in a race: Crap, Manners, and Shut Up. During the race, Crap fell and Manners stopped to pick him up, Shut Up kept on speeding. The police stopped him. Here is there converstation: Police 1: Whats your name? Shut Up: Shut Up Police 2: Wheres your manners? Shut Up: Back there picking up crap.

Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? A tree stapled to a baby

Knock Knock F*ck of I'm watching p0rn

A few people were put in a room with 5 doors and 4 were a certain death one was freedom and they had to choose a door to go in not knowing which was freedom the first person went in the door on the far left. He got raped by Michael Jackson. The second guy opened the door on the far right. He got in a room entirely made of ice cream. He ate all of it and got such a brain freeze his brain froze. The third and final guy turned around and noticed a door labeled exit. He exited the room and continued his life as a normal person

whats better than the london bridge burning down... all the jews burning down and getting put in bins .

What does the gay man do while he is taking a shower with many other men in a prison or a gym? Lathers soap all over his body to clean himself so he is not smelly.

why did the baby fall out of the crib? it was dead

what did the homeless man get for Christmas? RAPED.

A horse walks into a bar... The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have testicular cancer........"

What did the boy say after smoking weed for the first time? -"I don't really feel anything" and his friends explained that is sometimes the case for a first time smoker.

What's the difference between a guy who sees the glass half empty and a guy who sees the glass half full? The first guy is happier because his tables tip more than the second guy's.

Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

Have you seen stevie wonders house? neither has he.

why were maddie and maddy and rachel and jill all friends? we all enjoy pizza

A man name Bill works 12 hours a day at a warehouse, almost everyday a week. It is a hard job but Bill does it to support his beautiful wife of many years. Bill thinks the long hard days are worth every moment he gets to spend with her. One night, after a hard day, he comes home to find another man in bed with his wife. Bill begins to sob and yell "I work 12 hours a day at a warehouse....." His wife yells back. "We already read this part, get to the punchline".

What do you call a whale driving a plane? A horibble massacre.

why did the baby fall down the steps? Because there was big earth quake that blocked his parents on the other side of the house, therefor leaving no one capable of getting to him befor falling

Crime doesn't pay. Sure it does

Why couldn't the woman drive? She was dead.

A raccoon walks into a bar. He then proceded to bite 3 people before animal control got him. A black man, hispanic man and an asian man. Later they all walked to the hospital and were treated for rabies, they were all fine as rabies is normally not fatal when caught early. Moral- this story is racist cause the white man was completely unharmed, DONT DISCRIMINATE!

A Canadian walks into a bar, he rubs his head, steps around the bar, and walks into a bar. He has a great time hanging out with his friends and having a few drinks

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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