On a scale of 1 to Kevin James, how much do you exercise?

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Not Suzy!!

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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a gay man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out for trying to seduce men.

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I wife my butt after I poop. I poop out of my penis.

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it's easy to take part, just type your text below!

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A Hispanic, Jew and black man walk into a bar. The bartender tells them to get out because he's closed.

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A man walks in front of a bus. The bus driver avoids the man but hits the boy eating ice cream.

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What's the difference between a black guy and an asian. They come from different race groups.

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How many apples come from trees? None, not a single one of em'

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What would Steve Jobs be doing if he were alive today? Dying.

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Why wasn't 7 afraid of 6? Numbers are numbers and therefore incapable of feeling any emotion.

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Why did the little girl drop her balloon? Because she was getting raped in the face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had escaped from the farmer's field. The family were not too disheartened, as the rest were still contained.

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Your at your local street corner and find a woman, the fact that she has balls dose not stop you from inviting her into your car.

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Three Men walk into a bar. One with a ax and one with a Shovel. The other one isn't holding anything. *Boom* (\ _ /) (x . x)

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How do you tell the difference between a white family, and an albino black family? The albino black family suffers from a lack of pigmentation, while the white family just has a naturally pale skintone.

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Why couldn't the Nativity have taken place in France? The winters are not warm enough to sleep in an animal cave without getting hypothermia, and there was no census taking place at the time.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the KFC man was chasing him.

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A woman tells her boyfriend that shes going shopping. Later that day the boyfriend sees her in an alley giving a blow job to a stranger so he says "What are you doing here?"

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A monkey walks into a bar. Monkeys are always funny.

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A plane crashes on the border of the U.S. and Canada, where were the deceased buried? It turns out that there were passengers of several different nationalities on board, all of which were buried in their respective homelands.

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where do you hide a black mans paycheck? somewhere he would never find it

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A vegetarian walked into a butcher Luckily he realized where he was and walked out!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops