Knock Knock? Who's there? Orange! -door opens- You fucking come over here selling oranges one more time Julio and I will have you deported.

What's the thing that freaks guys out the most? When you're about to have sex with a girl and it turns out she had a penis and it's bigger than yours

Tool will release their 5th album this summer.

A mass murderer ran into a bar full of people. He first shot a man. What did the man say when the murderer shot him? Nothing, he was hit in the head and instantly died before he could say anything.

what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

Q: What do you call a gay dinosaur? A: Mega-saur-ass

i hate when mothers said " clean your room" me " why " mom " because we have guest coming " me " oh i am sorry i didn't know we are all gathering in my f**king room

Have you see stevie wonders house? No. Neither has he.

An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school? Both of his legs were amputated. He can't ride a bike ever again.

What is Arnold Schwarzenegger's favorite lollipop? Choppa Chups.

You know what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Because you touch yourself.

Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She didnt have any arms

How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

I put children on a leash and store them under my bed. I feed them bird food and they drink eachothers urine.

why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7-8-9

what is the different between a prostitute and your wife one is on contract and the other pay as you go

Who is best known for causing the Mt. St. Helens Eruption, The World Series Earthquake, and The Asian Tsunami in 2004? According to insurance companies, God.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car and die.

why did the man french kiss the horse? because he was high on l.s.d and confused the horse for an attractive male because he himself was homosexual ps vagina monkeys and chili

What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

Whats hard and long and used to penetrate women? A hypodermic needle.

Tom: Did you here about the blond who went to college? Mike: No. Tom: Well I heard she's leading a very successful life.

What did the tiger say to the monkey? Nothing really, just a lot of growls and other sounds as he consumed it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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