Why do fat people make such good slaves? They're too fat and lazy to escape. Unfortunately, if you want your slave to be fat, you actually have to feed it properly.

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1d

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Your momma so fat.... She's at risk of cardiovascular disease. You should take her to a nutritionist.

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You are basically asking if I care for you, care for me, and if this could put us both in risk... There is no picking at this stage, why would I use you?

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a termite walks into a bar and asks, "wheres the bar tender?"

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Were can you find a bag of meth?

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What is white and square? A ping pong block

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Knock Knock Who is there? *bang* The following story depicts the life and death of Bob:___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________then he opened the door and was shot in the face.

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PhilosopherCon: "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Robin, get in the car!

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Why is it not safe for turkeys to do maths? Because they don't have the mental capacity to carry out the calculations correctly, which would be a danger in jobs such as engineering or the space industry. Furthermore, they are unable to understand the concept of numbers or symbols and therefore have no motivation to solve mathematical problems; and even if they did, they don't have the dexterity or education to write out the solutions.

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A black child gives away his piece of fried chicken. He is allergic, and eats some watermelon instead.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah!

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

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Nice ass. Too bad it's cracked in the middle, though.

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What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

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What's blue and wiggles? A baby in a bag

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke 'er face.

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Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

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Roses are red violets are blue, I have no pickup line, just Get your tits out

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Correctional officer asks an inmate. "Does your elevator go all the way up"? Inmate replied. I don't know we always use the stairs.

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How can a hobo become rich? It can't. It died from food poisoning from eating food out of the trash.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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