Harry to Voldemort: Your mother is so fat, her patronus is a cake!

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Why was lady crying? Because her ten yer old son died of cancer..

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Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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Whats the difference between 10 dead babies and 8 dead babies? 2 dead babies.

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why did hitler hate the jews... because the nazies had to pay the gas bill

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What do you call a house full of Mexicans? A house

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whats the difference between a door knob? a milk carton, because people have legs so they can walk !!!!!

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A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

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how do we call a person with no body nor nose? a dead guy

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Why did the black person sit in the back of bus? All the other seats were taken.

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What's black and white and red all over? A modern abstract painting

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Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: 7 is a registered sex offender.

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Why did the long term smoker suddenly stop smoking? Because he had a heart attack.

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How many Jews can fit in a Volkswagen beetle? Four, although five is possible if you are not afraid of getting a ticket.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there" "BOO" "BOO WHO" "No it's just BOO"

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What's the difference between a convertible and a dead baby? One's in my garage, and one's a car.

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There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

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What did the dead man say to God? I'm dead.

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette have a contest to see who can get the most likes on their profile pictures. They are all attention-whores.

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What do you get when you mix monster, coke, and and seltzer? Kicked out of stop and shop.

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Why is water clear? Because it doesn't have a pigmentation.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was a really creepy movie

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why do gingers have no friends? They are non sentient stems that are simply not capable of interacting with intellectual humans

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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