I told my doctor I’m the first man on the face of the earth to suffer from morning sickness. He promptly corrected my mistake; my excessive vomiting is actually caused by chemo.

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Q. What's brown and circular? A. MEATBALLS!

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A guy walks into a bar. He must have been blind or something.

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Women can vote? wtf

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If a red house has red bricks, and a yellow house has yellow bricks, what colour of bricks does a greenhouse have? Greenhouses are made of glass.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and an astronaut? One walks on the moon and the other has sex with little boys.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A broken boomerang

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Your mama's so fat, she can't even find clothes that fit her well.

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There was a irishmen in his house. He was thirsty. so he drank some water

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I HATE G-SPOT AND BTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Justin Bieber's gay!! My butt is sexier!(;

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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What did the radiator say to the carpet? Nothing, a radiator is an inanimate object, and therefore is unable to speak.

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Q:What is harder than nailing ten dead babies to a tree? A:Nailing one dead baby to ten trees.

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What stops a fully black english man from marrying a fully chinese women, the language barrier of course!

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Wats do you get when you combine a vampire and a ginger? Idk, who would pull that disgusting shit

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Why did the pig jump over the farmer? Because he's a stupid idiot.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Orange. Don't be ridiculous. Oranges can't talk.

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A blind man walks into a bar. The shopkeeper says, "the bar is nextdoor." The man walks out.

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What did Osama say before he was shot? Nothing, it was a surprise attack.

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The speakers on my computer were broken, so I was going to replace them with John Boehner. Because he is the SPEAKER of the house.

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What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe? Fur traders

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To mamma so fat..............nuff said

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:) Hey AMBY VALENT! Want to join our horsehead show below?? *Laughing track with that fat loud bitch that wont stop laughing making the actors stare at each other like douches* :/ Muuh, I dont really care im just some meh character anyway so yuh...' *Laughing track* ? ???? ORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA! :( Hey get outta our show here you China man! *OOOH! Track plays with some fa*ott whistling* ? ???? | Baka! *leaves* *Awww track plays* *Laughing track*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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