A janitor walks into a bar. He cleans the bar.

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What do you call a man with no eyes? A hero for going to war and surviving being tortured by the Vietnamese.

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whats the same about a donkey and a horse? They are from the same animal classification group.

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If everyone in China jumped up and down at the same time they would lose all credibility as a nation for organising such a pointless excursion.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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Whats SxB-Tin+Shack+b= SB FUCKING B

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Q: How many times did the chicken cross the road? A: One and a half.

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What's the capital of Hungary? Thirtsy

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Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

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Why did they save the man in a burning building? To arrest him for arson.

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I told a priest that I would never believe in anything greater than myself. He said I had the God complex, that I was grandios. I stared him in the eye and asked, "how highly do you think of me? Thank you" and left.

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Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave.

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Why does the same anti-jokes pop up over and over again? Because people have no creativity.

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How do you make a blond cry? Rape her and kill her family.

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a. why? b. because

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. I just bought a new xbox.

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Not lying Red, I have my contacts, I am a "facilitator", I pull strings for my employers, and sure the FBI has me on their files, after all we have cooperated with them. Not because I wanted to, but because its my job, and it helps me use the best of my abilities and limited education (I am technically an educated lawyer, and not an agent).

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have ADD ...

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Up High. *high fives* In The Middle *high fives* Down Low *high fives* In the Grass *high fives* You've been diagnosed with prostate cancer.

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What do you get when you cross a man, with Alzheimers disease?

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what did the murderer say to the man... i'm going to kill you

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Roses are black Violets are Black I'm Hellen Keller

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What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm A nimals

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Why did the chair fall off the cliff? Well it is an inamitate object so it did not move itself, someone must have threw it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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