An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walked into a bar. The Englishman ordered a lager, the Irishman ordered a Guiness, and the Scotsman ordered tap water.

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Yo mama's so fat, that when she jumped, gravity pushed her back to the floor!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He had escaped from his farm and didn't understand the laws of jaywalking.

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Feeling alone fast after opening your mouth? Feel that people ignore your conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say AHAH!... And Uhuh, and I PERFECTLY UNDERSTAND! Now YOU CAN BE APPRECIATED INSTANTLY BY A BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE SAYING!

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What's the difference between Izzy and a hobo? Nothing...they both have no job and no friends

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Why did the black man have drugs? He had a very serious medical condition that involved putting himself at a high risk at any time without proper medications, therefore he requires drugs to sustain him and hopefully prevent him from dying. To immediately believe that he was in possession of illegal drugs is a very racist assumption that is representative of one of the numerous racial problems that faces our society today.

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a man checks his brand new cellphone to see if he has a text message... He has cancer

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Yo mama is so fat, she lost in a race to a person who had less physical mass.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane act

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What do you tell your chicken when it is it's birthday. Nothing, because he wouldn't understand you.

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how do you get a mexican to fall off of a cliff? you push them off

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What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

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Q: Why can't sally play on the swing? A: Because she has no arms Q: Who was the first to climb mount everest? A: Not Sally

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How do you get a baby to stop crying Cut its head off

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What did the sun say to the moon ?? Nothing - they can't speak

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was jewish and saw a nickel on the other side

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What's worse than eating poop for your whole life? Nothing really, you've got serious problems if you have another option...

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"I know it. I can feel it in my nuggets." -Chicken Joe

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Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

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Roses are red Violets are blue Buttercups are yellow Thats about it

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A panda walks into a bar, orders some bamboo shoots, and bamboo leaves, and eats them

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Two elephants were out flying. Then one elephant said to the other: My grandmother has a pink toothbrush!

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Why didn't the Irishman walk into the bar? Beacause he had killed himself the previous night as a result of his alcoholism.

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waiter! waiter! theres a fly in my soup! the waiter immediately retrieved a new soup and gave them a 50% discount for the misshap.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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