Q; What feels like plastic and tastes fake? A: School Food

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Phil.

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Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

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Q: How do you eat a dead baby? A: One piece at a time.

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So a baby seal walks into a club...

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What's the difference between an American and a Russian? One's American and one's Russian.

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Why did Oliver fall? He shot himself.

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What colour is chocolate? Brown.

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Q: Why did the boy have blue balls? A: because the respectable girl with high self esteem refused to give him head.

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Do you wanna build a snowman ? No.

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Why did the pirate have a peg leg? Diabetes

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What do Sylvia Plath and a cake have in common? Nothing.

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Why did the German burn the Jew? Because he dropped his tea.

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A blind man walks into a bar After realising he might be hurt everybody rushes to his aid

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Where are you going Your house

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Roses are red Violets are blue I love you so much That is a an example of the 2nd person and the identification of plants and their colors

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So a horse walks into a bar.. and breaks both its front legs. The owner has to shoot it because it can't race anymore

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Why did the Asian boy drop his milk? Because he had a stroke.

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your friend is gay, but you are not. nothing happens

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it does whatever the hell it wants to do!

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What has seven ears, four legs and two arms? Nothing.

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While teaching her second grade class, Mrs. Peets asks the class a question from last night's homework, "OK class, what did you get for number five, 5+12=?" A kid in the back raises his hand slowly. "Yes James?", said the teacher. The kid in the back says, "My dick is as hard as a rock, Mrs. Peets."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops