knock,knock whos there? teddybear. teddybear who? a teddybear killed your family.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What did a man say to the woman with two black eyes? "Are you okay? Here, let me take you to the hospital." The woman is now healing nicely.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What you do if you poo out a slug? Eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Whats brown and smells bad poo

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why do cats have nine lives? Because they don't have ten.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Your mom is such a big whore that she sleeps with your dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

While running away a burgular cut his hand on a piece of glass. He fell to the ground bleeding like crazy. What did the police say when he saw the burgular? You've been caught red handed.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

You say: Why did the chicken cross the road? Response: Why? (or some other answer to a different joke) You say: To get to your house! Knock, knock. Response: Who's there? You say: The CHICKEN!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

How do you drown in a tea cup? You find a big enough tea cup.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why is it not safe for turkeys to do maths? Because they don't have the mental capacity to carry out the calculations correctly, which would be a danger in jobs such as engineering or the space industry. Furthermore, they are unable to understand the concept of numbers or symbols and therefore have no motivation to solve mathematical problems; and even if they did, they don't have the dexterity or education to write out the solutions.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his village has been ravaged by small pox.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why is my brother so bad at making anti jokes cuz HE HAS a sense of humor

thumb_up thumb_down -32

knock knock who's there peedo peedo who scissors

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A father of four joins the military. He returns home after his service.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the angry kid press the button? The button said "press here angry kid"

thumb_up thumb_down -32

The asian parent's look at their child and say in an angry voice. "Y U NO DOCTOR." The kid was amazed how uneducated they were in english after living in america for 10 years.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Roses are red Violets are blue Columbine was funny

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What has hands but cannot feel? A sociopath; due to his or her mental health condition they are incapable of feeling true emotion.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Shut up max im not fucking demented u dickhead

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Much to my surprise, the Hoover Dam was not built by beavers.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What did the us reporter say? nothing as his head was in a isis members bin

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops