A man walks into the bar and orders a drink. This is what you do in a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the old lady talk to a tree? She had Alzheimer's and was going to die.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

There is a blonde a Burnett and a red head. Life goes on.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How long does it take you to count to 5? 5 seconds.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was attempting to get back to his farm.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What happens when there is a jew next to you and you are standing on a train track? A train hits you both and you both die.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

8

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't be late for his annual check up at the clinic across the street.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why did John fall off his bike I don't know I was not there it was a rumor at school

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a black man playing golf? A golfer.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge. Why did Sally fall off her bike? She was hit by a falling monkey and fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

-Knock knock! -Who's there? -Pizza. That'll be 20 bucks. -Here you go. -Thank you.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A blone walks into a bank in New York City and asks the bank teller for a $5000 loan because she's going to Mexico for 2 weeks. The bank teller said he would need some security for the money. The blonde tells him her new Rolls Royce is in the parking Lot and she hands him the keys. The blonde gets the money and goes on her trip. Another employee at the bank then parks the car in the underground parking garage. He later ffinds out the blonde is a multi millionaire. When the blonde arrives home from she pays back the $5000 and $15 interest. When the bank teller asks her why she gave them a $250000 car for security or needed the $5000 loan if she was a multi millionaire, the blonde answers, "Where else can you park your car in New York City and expect it to stillbe there when you return?"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a redneck virgin? A seven year old who can run faster than her brothers.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why did the clown fall off the swing because he got shot in the face

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why do all black men carry guns? They don't. That is a stereotype. Now pants on the other hand, that's a different story.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did Annie the Orphan get for Christmas? News that her parents are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the baby fall off the swing? Because i hit it with a bat.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man walks into a pole He breaks his nose And bleeds to death

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a dead baby in a lunchbox? It doesn't matter he won't hear you.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops