What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping? Well you should be very concerned because he hasn't been found in 4 years.

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What's brown and smells like shit? The rapidly decaying bodies of several dead chipmunks.

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What is worse than the holocaust? A worm in your apple.

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You are so ugly that for Halloween you had to trick or treat by phone.

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What happened to the Jewish man while he was in the shower? He accidentally fell asleep and was late to his job.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender, upon seeing him, asks him to leave. The black man is enraged by the blatant racism shown by this man, and proceeds to punch the bartender repeatedly. After 5 minutes of non-stop punching the man stops, looks at his victim, and is filled with remorse. He is dead. Upon looking around, the black man notices scaffolding and building equipment scattered around the room. He falls to the ground as he realizes the bar is still under construction, and unable to serve customers this early in development. The bartender was simply asking the man to leave for his own safety.

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What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

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Q: why is there always a window in front of the kitchen sink A: so when the woman is washing the dishes she can see the grass she is about to cut

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Why did Martha Stewart's skin hurt? My friend has a skin condition :( and is dying, skin cancer is not something to make fun of.

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What is black and has no education A tire.

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A clueless chicken walks into a bar. Now being cooked on the BBQ.

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What did the woman say to the dog? Stop shitting on my carpet your dickhole

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Did you hear Whitney Houston died? Yes.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus

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What's worse than 10 babies stapled to a tree? The Holocaust.

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A guy comes home from work every day to his wife, who always seems miserable. He decides that her unhappiness is making him unhappy aswell, so he sits her down to talk things over. It turns out she is depressed because she can't get a job and the back wheels of her wheelchair are rusting.

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Once i was walking down the street when i saw a homeless man As i leant to give him money he jumped up and stabbed me. Now i don't approach drunk strangers with hangovers

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What is the most dangerous place to be right now? Rodney Kings pool.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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I rated up my joke then opened a new tab went to Anti-Jokes.com and rated it again. Problem antijokes?

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kk

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Jesus. Jesus who? You're going to hell.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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