Why does Eli Manning play for the Giants? Because he is huge.

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Why doesn't Micheal Jackson do a music video with Usher? Because he is dead.

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when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. when life gives you melons, you are soon diagnosed with dyslexia.

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What do you call a moldy apple? ... A moldy apple.

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Did you hear about the blond that jumped off a bridge? She died.

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What's red and blue and goes 105 MPH? A red and blue car.

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What does and elephant and me have in common. Everything, I am an elephant.

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I was going to write a joke about Alzheimers ... but I completely forgot it.

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Knock knock? Whose there? Colin Come in

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why did the man move away from me because he thought that i had crabs as pets

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You wanna know what's out of this world? The moon.

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A Jew walked into Germany. He never walked back out.

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Have you ever seen that gay clown in asda.

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What do u call a joke with no punchline? An anti-joke

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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In your case, maybe because it is time to stop thinking so much, and begin living life, if the world cannot appreciate a wise man such as yourself, maybe that man should stop being wise, and begin being happy.

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In mediavel times :A Jew rapes his mom.... He is promptly taken out of society and thrown into a lions den due to his act of imortality.

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Ten years ago we had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope and Johnny Cash ... now we have no Jobs, no Hope and no Cash.

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A man is walking in the desert, alone and lost, when suddenly he finds a lamp. The man picks up the lamp and to his surprise, a genie bursts out of the lamp ! The genie says to the man: "Thank you, kind man! You have freed me from this prison I have been in for a million years. I am in your dept and will grant you three wishes." The man replies: "Wow, you've been in there for a million years and all you have to give me are three wishes?" The genie was really sad to hear of the man's lack of appreciation and flew away, leaving the man. The man eventually died of starvation and dehydration.

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a older brother and a lil brother have bunk beds, one night the older brother has his gf sneak over, they are going to have sex. he tells his gf, "say lettace for a new positon and say tomato for stop", they start and she screams, "lettace, tomato, lettace, tomato". then the lil brother says " will you guys stop making salad, ur getting mayonase all over my face!!!!"

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I road a horse to school. My friend stabbed it with a Javelin and screamed.... The horse was his Dad

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roses are red violets are blue bullets are lead now i shoot you

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How do you stop a black man from spitting? People of all races and colours are quite within their right to spit on their own property whenever they wish. However if anyone spits on or near you, you could report him to the police, but don't expect to be taken seriously.

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A horse trots into a bar. He is left with a bump on his head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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