What did the boy with asthma say to his friend I can't breath

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what worse then stepping on a lego? watching your son kill your wife

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Roeses Are Red Violets Are Blue He's The One For Me And Not For You, And If You Try To Take My Place I Will Take My Fist And Smash Your Face(:

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If you're havin' girl problems I feel bad for you son, your mother and I once had those problems but we got through it.

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Two monkeys are sittin in a bathtub. The first monkey says to The second, "HEY! pass the soap." The second says to the The first monkey, "DUDE. thats not soap, its a typewriter!!!!"

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Whats cold and can't climb trees? Refrigerator

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. I don't know, I've had a bad day, I can't think straight. Why do you keep asking me these questions? Always talking at me, everyday it's the same - why can't you just shut up?! I would be better off dead, then it would stop, this suffocating blackness. I need to escape...I'm going to do it tonight...pills, something like that...I don't care any longer. Goodbye.

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A blind man walks into a bar. It was a book shop.

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Or something... Volume one. What do you do if you are in the jungle and get confronted by one jaguar to your left, and one tiger at the right and got only one bullet left in your gun? You shoot the Jaguar and drive home in the tiger.

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What do you say to a confused blond? You help her with her conundrum.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says to the man nothing. Because It's a duck.

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What do you say to a rock? Meow

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There was a fat man crying. I just told him the local Mc D's was arson attacked.

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Man: What is the meaning of life? God: Buffalo wings. Lots and lots of buffalo wings.

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The saying "When Pigs Fly" Can easily be canceled. Just tie a rocket and wings to it and let it go.

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad? A: Kill his family

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what happens when you punt a baby in between 2 poles? you get 3 points

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What did the dinosaur say to the centipede? It's funny cause the dinosaur is big and the centipede is small.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, This poem is getting old, I like cookies.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The unfortunate child in a pedophile's basement who the police have yet to find.

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so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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What's worse than a broken leg? Two broken legs

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A Jew, a Catholic, and an Aeithiest walk into a bar. The bartender look at them and says "Is this some kind of a joke?".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops