I went to the opticians to get my eyes checked. The optician said "you need glasses".

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Your mamma so jobless, that she needs a job! ~T.J.C.S.

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What do Sylvia Plath and a cake have in common? Nothing.

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The kid was riding a honda xr70r. He got hit by a non moving object and died.

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I feel like am motherf***ing stuck in this duck and it makes me wana quack like what the f**k is THAT!

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Whats the difference between a pizza and your opinion? I asked for the pizza

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Determined.

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A man walked into a bar. He has been in a coma for six weeks now.

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What did the monkey say to the other monkey Monkey can't talk

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Q: Why did the boy cross the road? A: Because he was getting chased by a pedophile

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, but I'm late for work.

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how do you get a man with a gun out of your house? you don't.

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A priest was driving a motorcycle and was doing these amazing crazy stunts. It turns out they were actually filming a movie.

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An American, a German, and a Mexican walk quickly into a room. They were late for a work meeting.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We are not familiar with the specific circumstances, therefore its difficult to determine exactly why.

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Whats big, round and orange? A big round orange

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What did the orphan get for christmas........Cancer

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what did the poor guy get for christmas POVERTY

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Your mom is so fat shes having trouble getting into her own pants.

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Why did the boy go swimming in the ocean? He didn't. the current pulled him in and he drowned.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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what did charlie sheen do when his ex wife insulted him? he horribly abused her

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Why isn't Abraham Lincoln on Mount Rushmore? Because he doesn't have a helicopter and he's dead.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? A. Spot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops