why did the white man read the New York Times? because HuffPo is horrible. I mean, it's so so so shitty. it's like a wannabe buzzfeed, which ought to say it all.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Have you ever had Ethiopian food?? Neither have they...

thumb_up thumb_down -18

So I said to the man "That's no banana, thats my wife!"

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Noooooooo...

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How did the blonde die? She got swallowed whole by a 1,000-foot scorpion.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A mermaid found a magic lamp at the bottom of the ocean. She rubbed it and a cat with 9 lives came out so he didn't drown.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Her Majesty's Government of the United Kingdom of Great Britain

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why did suzy drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock. whos there? not suzy.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did sarah fall of the swing? she has no arms. Knock knock. whos there? not sarah.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the car stop working. The owner was unable to pay the outrageous price for gasoline and was forced to ride a bicycle to and fromvwork every day. Over the course of several months without being run, the engine seized and was forever broken.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Knock Knock Who’s there? Boo Boo who? Ah don’t be sad, Boo’s here to cheer you up!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

There were three men named manner, poop, and shut up. they all were mad fun of in middle school and ended up hating their parents for giving them such retarded names.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

The adventures of HAROLD THE MONGOOSE: Harry dug a hole. He did not like that hole so he dug a new one. He liked that hole so he did not dig another one. Harry slept on a rock. He did not like that rock. So he smashed it with a ham. Harry found a new rock. He liked that rock so he didn't smash it with a ham. Harry ate a snake. He did not like that snake so he regurgitated it. Harry ate another snake. He liked that snake so he did not regurgitate it. Harry encountered a bush. He did not like that bush. Unfourtianately for Harry, that Bush became president.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do Elephants never forget? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Who won the race through the underpass, the black man or the polish man? The black man as he crossed the finish line several seconds earlier.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A blind man walks into a bar. The next day he goes out and buys a new seeing eye dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why did the family get sick?? because i fucked a girl with a parsnip then sold the parsnip to a family with 4 small children

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's worse than a pile of dead babies? Two piles of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do Miley and Billy Ray Cyrus have in common? Half their DNA

thumb_up thumb_down -18

An Asian woman is driving home from work and arrives in 30 minutes, which is strange because it normally does not take that long but she left during rush hour and the traffic was very bad at the time.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the woman stop jogging? She got mauled by a bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops