A black guy and a mexican guy are falling from a building. Which one hits the ground first? Who cares

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A man serves his wife dinner. She laughes and tells him it tastes funny. He then procedes to tell her that is because he put large amounts of poision into the food.

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A giant storm loomed over a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who has been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Why was the man upset? His entire family was murdered, skinned, separated into assorted body parts, and stapled to trees.

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Roses are Blue Violets are red, I need to go the the bathroom

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Why did the man go to Jupiter? Because he was on a classified space mission for N.A.S.A.

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what is the difference between a a person and a book? people can walk

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, the holocaust didn't actually happen, besides I hate jews

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Your mom is so fat she's overweight

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? An alive one at the bottom eating its way up.

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Knock knock. Who's there? AV. AV who? Asshole vison. Now that's Amusement Vision. (Remembering Amusement Vision...)

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Knock Knock Who's there? ........

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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what do you call a bomb in a plane? A dangerous threat to lives

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Chuck Norris got hit by a train. It was a very bloody and sad incident and he will be missed.

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Why was the truck making noises? It was backing up.

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What do you call a blue chair A black person

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There's my tractor.

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What’s funnier than cancer? Most things, really.

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How do you get a single-armed monkey down from a tree? Wave.

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Why couldn't the 11-year old get into the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13.

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Q: What is worse than a dead baby in a trashcan? A: A dead baby in 10 trashcans.

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My mom always said that jumping in a pile of leaves was fun! That was before a 20 foot long iguana bit her head off...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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