What did Charlie do when he lost his golden ticket? He killed his grandpa to get it back.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -12

wHY DIDN'T THE HORSE FINISH COLLEGE? HIS GRANT RAN OUT AN HE COULDN'T GET ANOTHER STUDENT LOAN.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Ubisoft presents a game by ubisoft

thumb_up thumb_down -12

There was an Englishman a Welshman and a Scotsman, all of whom were nationals of the United Kingdom.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

There's a black guy, a yellow guy, and a white guy. Which one survives? All of them do. See. I'm not racist!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why would the chicken cross a road

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How was Charles Manson able to get women to kill for him? Because he was charismatic and intelligent.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the Old man die? He died of old age.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Jesus, Buddha and Mohamed walked into a bar and say: "There is as much validity in this fiction as in our collective works.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

There once was a man from Nantucket. He decided to sail to Portland. He cast off and was never seen again.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Looks like you are having a TUFF time recovering from the game.....lol.....

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is the crunchiest part of a Vegetable? It depends if by Vegetable you mean the food or the disabled human incapable of carrying out simple, daily tasks, in which case this joke would be referring to canibalism.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call an elephant in a phone booth? Stuck

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I found a new way to be condescending... Thats when you talk down to people.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why did the girl die. because she was bullied and abused everyday by her family and friends. she was homeless and was forced to drop a bomb on her own forest. there fore she stabbed herself.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

whats worse than having no life? having no life and reading internet jokes all day!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

all hail based mark

thumb_up thumb_down -14

One day in Africa there was a family of Americans touring an African village. They were a happily married couple with a four year old son. This day however was a very sad day because a group of elephants came trampling through the village. The couple left there kids inside and went to help control the elephants. however the elephants killed them all with their feet. Now the little boy wandered outside because after all he was just a little boy. He was about to be killed when a baby elephant calmed down his mom, so he saved his life. The baby elephant then took the little boy back to the airport by which the married couple came because elephants are very smart. The boy didnt want to leave his new found friend the baby elephant but the little boy was then sent back and lived with his Uncle. When he was older, he had a child of his own, a little boy. One day he decided to take his son to a circus, that was from Africa. He didnt realize there would be elephants there. This day the elephants got spooked by a mice and started to stomp all around. Then the man realized his son was missing. He looked down to find his son about to be stomped on by this old elephant. Just as the elephant was about to stomp he and the man made eye contact. The man thought noticed the look in that elephants eyes, like he reconized them. He thought mabye, just mabye it was the same elephant he was saved by. Turns out it wasn't and the elephant killed his son.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: There was a train wreck in the middle of nowhere, every one died, no one saw the train wreck, so how did the story about the wreck get out? A:Many philosophers believe that the universe is a figment of its own imagination. Therefore, if "the universe" decided that it wanted the story to get out, it could have just made it so since it is its own imagination.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops