Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A: The live one at the bottom trying to eat his way out. Q: What's worse than that? A: When he comes back for more.

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Why did the little boy fall out the window? A child molester pushed him.

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friends are like snowflakes. if you piss on them they go away

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We are here to inform you that your daughter has died in a drunk driving accident.

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Comes a giraffe on a scooter to the hospital and asks: 'can I have some flour?'.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Fairy floss" "Fairy floss who?" "I'm sugar coating your Cancer diagnoses"

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why did the mans alarm clock go off at six am? he has a high paid job he doesnt want to let down.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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What would Loiter Squad be if the characters were white? A show.

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What do Sylvia Plath and a cake have in common? Nothing.

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What would kill a Muslim if they were to ingest it? Arsenic

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What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. Jewish people celebrate Hanukkah

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What do you call an blank test? an F

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What do Sandusky and micheal Jackson have in common? They are both white.

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apple was gonna make a smaller ipod for kids but decided not to because they didnt want the name to be itouch kids.

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Whats big, round and orange? A big round orange

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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*knock, knock* "Who's there?" *knock, knock* "Who's there?" This went on for hours, as man 1 was deaf, and man 2 was blind.

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If my balls were on your chin, where would my dick be?

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What did the Polish man say to his doctor? "Witam, doktorze. By?em kaszel z ostatnich kilku tygodni i jest wysypka na moim lewym ramieniu. Czy jest co? co mo?na zrobi?, aby mi pomóc?" I don't know what it means, either.

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What did the midget say to the other midget? "We're midgets"

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What do a baby and popcorn have in common? They both pop in an explosive manner when put in a microwave and both can be consumed by the person who may have put the baby and popcorn in it so if you think this is funny then you have some problems and i will shortly in some period of time when my schedule is cleared refer you to a licensed psychologist and we will make an appointment for you.

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You know what's funnier than 24? .... 9-11

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What is the difference between a woman and a whale? One has big whiskers and is fat and filthy, the other one lives in the sea and is a mammal

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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