Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to commit suicide

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie!

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Q: What are 4 consecutive fart's called? A: Fart's, unless someone gives them names?

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What's the difference between an orange? A bicycle because a vest doesn't have any sleeves.

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A seal walks into a club.

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What's the best part of the 1980s? They're over.

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A man walks into a bar

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why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. I just bought a new xbox.

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Why did the chair fall off the cliff? Well it is an inamitate object so it did not move itself, someone must have threw it

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What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm A nimals

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I told a priest that I would never believe in anything greater than myself. He said I had the God complex, that I was grandios. I stared him in the eye and asked, "how highly do you think of me? Thank you" and left.

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Up High. *high fives* In The Middle *high fives* Down Low *high fives* In the Grass *high fives* You've been diagnosed with prostate cancer.

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Not lying Red, I have my contacts, I am a "facilitator", I pull strings for my employers, and sure the FBI has me on their files, after all we have cooperated with them. Not because I wanted to, but because its my job, and it helps me use the best of my abilities and limited education (I am technically an educated lawyer, and not an agent).

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How do you make a blond cry? Rape her and kill her family.

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Why does the same anti-jokes pop up over and over again? Because people have no creativity.

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what did the murderer say to the man... i'm going to kill you

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Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

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a. why? b. because

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What do you get when you cross a man, with Alzheimers disease?

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Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave.

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Knock knock Who's there Orange Orange who Orange

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have ADD ...

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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