Q:Whats worse than stubbing your toe? A: Watching a terrorist saw your dads arm off.

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How Do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door put the elephant in and close the door. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door take the elephant out put the giraffe in and close the door. The lion king has a meeting with all the animals but one doesn't turn up, which one is it? The giraffe because it's still in the fridge.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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WELL YOU ARE ALL A ROOF. So pie, my dearest Adam. Like a butthole.

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Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for Christmas? The sweet, merciful release of death at the hands of his father, who had been struggling with the emotional and financial drain of raising a severely disabled child for many years. It was only a matter of time before the man snapped, as he was a single parent working twenty hour days, seven days a week, to just barely cover all the medical bills that the specialists and therapy incurred.

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A: Who keeps knocking on the wall? B: My neighbors have sex a lot. A: We should knock back.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. A.Knock knock B. Who's there? A.Not Susie

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What's big, green, has 4 legs, and if it falls out of a tree will kill you? A pool table

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A priest, a rabbi and Santa walk into a bar. that's a highly coincidental situation.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he wants to drink. He orders a beer.

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Wenn Sie dies zu übersetzen, dann ist dein ein Esel

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A tiger walks into bar. He orders a drink and leaves. The tiger's name was Tony the tiger," It was just a man wearing a costume for the cereal company.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in an apple? having a worm sized penis.

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where did little suzie go during 9/11 EVERYWHERE...

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How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? 17.

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Caramel Boing.

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What is black and blue, with nothing to do? The prostitute in my basement.

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In a galaxy far, far, away.... There were quasars, stars, and various sized meteors.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the ocean? Bob

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poo

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A Muslim and 2 French people walked into a bar They start to have a nice conversation about Charlie Hebdo

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Q: What's blue and smells like grass? A: Blue grass.

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What's the difference between 2 pieces of meat? Nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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