Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor and the doctor said "There is no cure for the monkeys in your head"

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roses are red violets are blue i like movies get me a taco

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What do you do when you go downstairs in the middle of the night and see your VCR floating in the middle of the living room? Run and cower in fear in this seemingly impossible situation.

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Want to hear a joke? ... Oh dear, I can't think of any. Golly, this is embarrassing.

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What's the difference between a bird and a wheel? They both fly, I lied about the wheel.

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2 guys walk into a bar but the third one has known about what happens to the third guy but since he is reading this in a newspaper and his unaware of his surroundings he walks into the bar anyway and feels very foolish.

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What would Abraham Lincoln do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the lid of his coffin.

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How did the chicken perform the bank robbery? It was crossing the road and cluelessly walked into a bank, and EVERYONE in that bank had Chickenphobia so they just GAVE him the money...

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what's better than winning a gold metal at the special olympics? not being retarded.

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What would Bruno Mars do if he was on the moon? Gasp and grab his throat in an attempt to get oxygen flowing into his lungs with no avail.

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Your mamma's so dumb, we are seriously worried she might hurt herself.

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When Gronkowski spikes the ball, 20 children die.

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what do you call a sexy feminist? nothing, there are none

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(PC) Why aren't regular jokes as good as anti-jokes? Because they are worse than anti-jokes.

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Lebron James got a new iPhone, but he has to keep it on vibrate because he doesn't have any rings.

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why did suzy get hit by the bus because she got dumped into the road and she had no legs

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What happens when an alien touches fire? It gets burnt

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Why was little Alice and her family at the graveyard? Well someone had to come at her funeral...

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Q:If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is here to hear it, will it make a noise A:That Philosopher probably had a lot of herbal tea in the morning

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Sidney Crosby walks into a bar. Except its a metal bar like a pole so he gets another concussion.

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Hey bill

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children are much like potatoes. when you eat them, they die.

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Why do I exist? Because my mom gave birth to me.

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what's the worst way to fall asleep? sad. it makes you lose sleep.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops