what was postman pat's name before he was a postman? Pat.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A plane crashed. The pilot was some sort of food, like a loaf of bread or a salad. Neither of which can fly a plane or do much of anything-- like get a plane to move in the first place, let alone take off.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

If you dont see banners here it does mean they are not here. P.S Advertising helps fill our pockets and annoy you. Please be understanding in the fact that we will permaban you while grinning if you refuse to UNDER-stand our rule.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Jimmy has nine bags of sugar. He eats nine bags of sugar. What doeshe have now? Diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the strawberry say to the grape? Nothing, inanimate objects can't use verbal communication.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I don't know which one is emptier my bank account or my love life

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's brown and sticky? A Mexicans underwear.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a black man eating dessert? A man of African ancestry enjoying a sweet treat.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

The body system was looking for a leader!? Heart - I am because I circulate the blood Brain - I should be because I control the body Liver - I should because I feed Anus - No, I am All laugh The anus held closed for seven days. The liver exploded the brain stewed and the heart stopped beating. Anus - Now, what am I?!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what is the different between a prostitute and your wife one is on contract and the other pay as you go

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Not your cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

There was a joke, one sentance, and no punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car and die.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats hard and long and used to penetrate women? A hypodermic needle.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the tiger say to the monkey? Nothing really, just a lot of growls and other sounds as he consumed it.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

yo mama is so fat that a kid said to her ' The White Buddha Has Returned'

thumb_up thumb_down +3

When the boy cried wolf who heard him? Not Helen Keller

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

So I'm blowing this guy and he starts rubbing his finger through my hair... So I started thinking, what a fag.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops