A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How did baby Bobby spend his summer vacation? He didn't, he died from heat exhaustion.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. They both died of blood loss.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was the man crying? He just got called and the doctor confirmed he had AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Father Murphy met Samuel Myer on the street. Sam it's been a month o' Sundays since I've seen you. You look propserous. How's the moile business? A snip better, Father, since we talked last. And thank you. For what, Sam? Well the last time we met you asked what I did with the foreskins. Well, here is the answer, my new business. What's this, a wallet. But so smooth, Sam. Yeah, Father, but when you rub it. Rub it, Sam? Yeah when you rub it it falls apart. And you have to buy a new one! Mazel Tov!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man with a blue house wears a blue shirt and wears blue jeans. Someone from a red house with a red shirt knocks on his door. He is invited in because they are friends and both have a wonderful time.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: *starts to laugh* Yeah...that's a funny cup.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was the black man crying? His wife left him, took his children, and most of his possessions in the divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the most confusing day in Mexico? Father's Day.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock Knock Who's there? Ben, you just called me. Aren't we supposed to go jogging. Oh yea, I lost track of time. Is it cold out? Yea it is. You should bring a jacket. Alright, can you get me a water? Yea, no problem. Thankyou.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

when i'm away from home i sometimes get love sick, well they call it chlamydiae.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why did jimmy fall of of the tractor? Because he is a potato

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Artichoke is a vegetable state induced by swallowing paint

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you stop a baby from crawling in cirlcles? nail its hand to the floor

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did little Suzan fall of the swing? She has no arms. Knock,Knock Who's there? Not Suzan

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Jesus walks into a bar, the bartender shoot the zombie

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: What do you call a blonde, a brunette, and a red head all who are 16 years old and standing in a school? A: High School Students

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was the man wearing all white? He was a part of the Ku Klux Kan.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you kill a blonde? Tell her she can breath underwater.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

how does hitler drink soup ? with a spoon

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did lil' Bobby get for christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the bartender refuse to let the black man in ? Because the bar was about to close.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops