Have you seen Whitney Houston's new house? Neither has she.

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What goes in dry and comes out wet Gum

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A man runs into a bar, sits down in a hurry and demands a beer from the bartender. The bartender looks at him wearily, but shrugs, pours him a beer and sets it down in front of him. The fat naked man then drinks the beer and leaves.

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Why does 1+1=2? Dunno, e-mail me if you do.

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Whats worse than seeing your family killed in front of your eyes? Not much to be honest

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What do dogs call gaseous exchange? Woof!!

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Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

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Why was the mime crying? Her husband died.

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What's the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? A ghost isn't a dolphin.

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Why couldn't the boy watch the DVD about pirates? Because his mother did not understand the importance of putting the disc back in it's case after use, and as a result, has become too damaged for the DVD Player to play.

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why is my wife crying? because she doesn't like tomatoes

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I can't submit this joke because I got the captcha wrong

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Why did the black man get arrested? He sold cocaine.

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Whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Having a Hippo give you head.

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what did the super popular, beautiful girl say to her stalker? i dont know, i wasnt the stalker.

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why aren't black people real? they are. just because they are less visible at night makes no difference.

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What's faster than a black man carrying your TV? The law enforcement that promptly catches him and is about to charges him with theft regardless of his ethnicity because stealing someone else's property is just generally an unlawful thing to do.

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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how do you tune a piano, you dont, piano tuners tune a piano, I wasn't talking to you!

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who holds the world record for longest amount of time on fire? Jim Rome

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There were two friends, a girl and a boy. The girl had a ribbon tied to her neck, and every day the boy asked her why, yet she'd never tell him. They grew up together, and fell in love and still, she wouldn't tell him why she had the ribbon on her neck. They got married, and grew old, and still she wouldn't tell him. But one day, she said to him 'I'll show you why I keep this on my neck' and she took it off and her head fell off.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a mus lim walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the mus lim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the mus lim that he's keeping company with a swine, and the mus lim feels offense for the poor horse.

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? What are you doing here?

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Why was the Irish Cop happy to see the Mexican family killed in a accident? Because the Lopez family were a family known for generosity and selflessness. It came as no surprise to anyone who knew Steven Lopez and his beloved family that they were all organ donors and not only that but Shelly Lopez, Steven's oldest daughter had blood type O negative (the universal donor). Officer McO'Brianiganly's wife is dying in the hospital in need of a kidney transplant, doctors have given her just weeks to live. Now, thanks to unfortunate events for la familia Lopez., Officer McO'Brianiganly and his wife can live a long happy life together, just as they always imagined.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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