What did the rake say to the shovel? Nothing, they're both inanimate objects.

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whats the difference between a dead body and a car with doors that open in a diagnal manner one was never alive to begin with

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Why am i so sexy? Because a dog raised me.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? My arm! My arm who? My arm is everywhere!

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what did the father say to his son whom had only one arm? hey son.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What's better than being rich? Not living in Kenya.

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Q:What is harder than nailing ten dead babies to a tree? A:Nailing one dead baby to ten trees.

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What do you get when you come across a blonde. Depression, because you want to do her, but you know that will never happen cause you spend to much time sitting on your ass looking at anti-jokes.

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your mom is so fat, she stepped on the scale and said, "I really need to eat better and I'm thinking about getting a gym membership." She did so, and she lost so much weight that all her friends congratulated her everywhere she went, and some didn't even recognize her.

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What's worse than scraping your knee? Getting a needle shoved into your penis and the needle hitting your scrotum so that you are in serious agony for hours and finding out you cannot have kids because of it.

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An irish man walks into a bar... Hes met with an intervention of family and friends who are all very concerned about his drinking problem and well being.

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Knock Knock who's there? ... who's there?!?!?! ... WHO'S THERE ?!?!?!? ... stupid kids.

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Rose are red, Violets are blue Your cat is dead Turkey

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Q. Why did the teacher trip and fall? A. Because his left foot was gnawed off by a camel, and he often finds it difficult to walk.

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Whats Worse that 10 babies stapled to 1 tree? 1 Baby stapled to 10 trees

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Why did Zayne have no friends? Because he is retarded.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? An even better question is why are the chicken morals being questioned every time it feels like doing something.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer pressure _._._

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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Rose: Mummy, why did you name me Rose? Mother: Because a rose fell on your head when you were a baby Daisy: Mummy, why did you name me Daisy? Mother: Because a daisy fell on you when you were a baby Fridge: durr hurr Mother: Shut up, Fridge

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Whais red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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why do woman love the twilight books? i have no idea woman can't read

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Q. How many leprechauns does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. Light bulbs don't exist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops