Ask me if I'm Abraham Lincoln. Are you Abraham Lincoln? No.

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If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, then they probably won't hear the lumberjack's cries for help either.

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What do you get when you cross a muffin with chocolate chips? A chocolate chip muffin.

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"I see," said the deaf man, to the blind man, who had no ears.

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refridgerator

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You know whats worse than an anti-joke? Practically Anything.

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Whats hard and long and used to penetrate women? A hypodermic needle.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the axe murderer. Did it work? No.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungie cord? My ass.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

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I think poop is tasty... just kidding.

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yo mamas so ugly.... everyone died. the end.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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i knew this one arab, who was so arab that there was nothing funny about him

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. The rabbi says "ow my head"

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Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

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Roses are red, Violets are brown, F*** who's had a shit in my garden.

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What did the chair say when someone sat on it? Nothing. The person's butt covered the chair's mouth.

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how do you tune a piano, you dont, piano tuners tune a piano, I wasn't talking to you!

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Connor is homo

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Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

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God has lived since the eternal eternity right? And one day he said let there be light? NO WONDER HE IS SUCH A NEEDY GREEDY EVIL FUCK! HOW WOULD YOU FEEL AFTER AEONS ENDLESS IN TOTAL DARKNESS? Moral: It is time for the prince, to stand up as the emperor, then no one shall doubt the power of the moral man.

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A man runs into a bar, sits down in a hurry and demands a beer from the bartender. The bartender looks at him wearily, but shrugs, pours him a beer and sets it down in front of him. The fat naked man then drinks the beer and leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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