Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a jam sandwich

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Q: What do a hockey coach and a bar stool have in common? A: because seven ATE nine

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Why was the baker rich? Because he had a lot of money

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear? The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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Q: Do these jeans make me look fat? A: No your fat makes you look fat.

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What do you call it when you take cheese that isn't yours? Stolen bitch, your under-arrest!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the KFC man was chasing him.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? Lawyers exist, are alive and despite all claims to the contrary, can withstand sunlight, garlic and the sign of the cross. They also have reflections and whilst they may eat black pudding from time to time they don't depend on blood as a source of nutrition.

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What did the blade of grass say to the other blade of grass? Nothing, as grass does not have the capability of speaking and does not have a brain, all it has is a complex life system where it feeds off water. If it were to say anything though, it would say, "Hey! We're both blades of grass!"

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Roses are red violets are blue, your library book is overdue, and if you dont pay the fine...i'll punch you in the mouth.

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What's worse than 100 dead babies stapled to a wall? 100 live babies stapled to the wall!!!

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Three black men walk into a bar. One of the men, having recently reached sobriety, opts not to commence in the consumption of alcohol. The other two, impressed by his level of restraint, decide to leave the bar and take the initiative to turn their lives around for the better.

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A dyslexic man into bar walks a.

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what is a mix of a bull dog and a shih tzu. a bread of dog that has a shaggy face and long hair

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''Hey, this is absolutely true. There's an organization now called 'Draft Dick Cheney for President, 2012.' Yeah. Good luck with that. They tried to draft Dick Cheney five times during Vietnam. That didn't work.

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Q: Why was the math book sad? A: Because he recently found out that his parents died in a tragic car accident.

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rofl lol, the joke below me has made my computer offer to translate this page. It thinks it's in Spanish

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three people come to a serial killers house. one was annoying one was immature and one was stupid he would put them all in the same boat. then he towed it into shark infested waters, sunk it and watched them speak their mind. the annoying one said "nah nah nuh boo boo you cant eat me!" the immature one said "im gonna ride one!" and the stupid one said "could you please tell your sharks to stop eating my leg? i need it to swim away from these sharks that are eating my leg." moral of the story: dont go to serial killers homes. they will most likely kill you.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Dead babies can't paint.

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What is the difference between a tree and a person? Trees don't scream when hit with an axe.

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Q:What's black, wrinkled and smells like raisins? A: A raisin.

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do you have a wife?

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Why was the man upset? His entire family was murdered, skinned, separated into assorted body parts, and stapled to trees.

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy but here's my chew toy throw it maybe!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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