What is black and white and red all over? A road killed zebra.

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What's better than seeing a Detroit Lions game? Not being in Detroit.

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Why did the garbage man cross the road? He was doing his job.

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Roses are Green Violets are Black Everything's different since I took crack

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Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the gas man, I've come to read your meter, like we arranged.

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My title of old was Satan. You humans killed my brother, ending God the holy trinity`s stay on earth, the Gods Omega. Moral: And yet you call ME? THE ANTICHRIST?!? I OFFERED HIM WATER! YOU OFFERED HIM TORTURE AND DEATH!

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Dam. Mothers Against Dyslexia.

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Yo mama so fat, her Patronus is a cake.

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A frog walked into a bar. Except by frog I meant Frenchman, and by bar I meant English pub. The Englishmen in the bar kill the Frenchman in a display of territoriality.

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What kind of doctors would you call A 30 year old chimpanzee? I would say "Plastic surgeon" but that would be unscrupulous to the chimpanzees because the tearing off or "lifting" of the owners face is because they are just animals. And should have never been kept in captivity that long anyways.

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A man walks into a bar he's drunk and can't feel it But he's ok

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What's worse than The Holocaust? Nothing, The Holocaust was a dark and scary time.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms and she was blind.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have to go to the bathroom.

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Ted: Joe, do you think I'm dumb? Joe: No, I think you're Ted.

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Two men walk into a bar. You would think the second man would have seen it. Made by Bobbie Pummel

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why did the chicken cross the road ? how else is he going to get to the other side

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What's the difference between 2 pieces of meat? Nothing

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What do you call a baby that got hit by a train? Thomas

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how do you break up with someone lightly and not hurt their feeling I dont want to hurt your feeling but i hate you

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What did one pile of dirt say to the other pile of dirt?? You're dirty

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Uh no, yogurt as in the bacteria that they add to milk in order to make the finished product yogurt. You see, while the effect is seen in twins (for example if one twin gets raped, the other gets a fucking sore ass) Sorry, I am still under trance here myself, you get out of it, I am gonna have some fun, go splash some water on your face. I mean people go like "woah that is impossible it only happens in rare cases and so on right?" Fun stuff: Yogurt, you can seal yogurt in a steel container miles away after separating its culture (basically having a colony living together and then moving them away from each other as in 30000 kilometers and sealing them in soundproof safe`s and whatnot. Feed one half of the yogurt, and the other one far far away begins munching into thin air, now keep the food close to the yogurt, and the bacteria will begin "begging for it" (as in when baby chicks notice the parent has arrived with food), and so will the culture of yogurt sealed in a safe 30000 miles away. Why? Living in similar states, brings a natural connection, we are attracted to similarities, and as far as the human knowledge of the LAW of attraction goes, distance is not a factor, look it up, or just believe me.

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Why did the gay guy come out of the closet? He finally found the shirt he was looking for

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If you have read this its to late. You have already read this. Im am very sorry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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