What's the difference between Asians and buckets? I don't use Asians to scoop water out of the lake.

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how do you stop a baby from crying? hit it with a brick.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothin. You already told her twice.

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Where did Susie go after the explosion? I don't know: she was nowhere near the explosion at the time that it happened. She probably got up to use the bathroom.

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What is big, white, and heavy ? A fridge

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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A deaf man walks into a bar. Someone yells, "FIRE!" and everyone evacuates. The deaf man does not hear him and dies horribly.

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Why was the little girl crying? She got raped by a giant scorpion.

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I would piss if alex berry had aids n died

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What happens when you cross a Labrador and a Poodle. A species of dog that has been cross bred.

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What would EARTH without ART be? EARTH, you dummy.

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A gay man walks into a pregnant woman

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How many fish does it take to brush their teeth? Jp's worth of fish isn't enough.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who practices the Jewish religion. A pizza is an italian dish consisting of dough, cheese, and tomato sauce.

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A lion walks into petsmart and asks the cashier were the dog food is. The Cashier replies your a cat and the cat food is in isle 4 you pussy

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar

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What do you do to become a hairdresser? Set Off the fire alarm

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could switching to Geico save you 15% or more on car insurence? Does a bear shit in the woods?

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what’s worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? one dead baby in 12 trash cans

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Whats the difference between wayne rooney and shrek? Well, one, shrek is fictional. Two if he was fictional,he is green. Wayne rooney is not green. Three wayne rooney plays for a football team, surely shrek has no idea what football is. The list goes on.

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Argon walks into a bar. The bartender yells, "Get the hell out!" Argon doesn't react.

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What is worse than finding your parents dead? You being charged for the crime.

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What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? Ten babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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Knock, knock. Whose there? Me. Leave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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