A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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A guy walks into a bar, and says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A hurt animal that should promtly be taken to the RSPCA for surgery.

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A: How can you tell a tree is an aspen? B: 'Cause of the way it is.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Let's go ride bikes!

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did the the White blood cell say to the bacteria? Nothing. Its a cell. It goes through phagocytosis.

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Mr. Krabs lives in bikini bottom (pinch pinch)

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What do you call a hairy pussy? A cat.

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Why didnt Jimmy go to school on Thursday? Jimmy is a vegetarian!

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A tortoise went for a run. It took him two hours to get around the corner.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Traffic was too backed-up so the chicken took a different route.

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I touch my sons dick XoXo Wendy.

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What happens when your first name is Newton? You get nicknamed NEWT

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What's old and baggy? An old bag.

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no jokes left :( ill try to make some more the ones with nude in my comments is mine

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If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, she was probably lonely.

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What do you call a group of geese? A giggle

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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