Two eggs are in a frying pan. One egg says to the other, "Gee, it's getting hot in here!" The other one says, "Shit, a talking egg!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's one thing that bothers EVERYONE? Mother Theresa

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats fat yellow and diabetic Brett lai lan

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Larry The Cableguy....thats it.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

In Soviet Russia you don't drive car, because the Soviet Union was disbanded in 1991

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What word starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? Fuck.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A guy walks into a doughnut shop and says "I'll have a small coffee and a doughnut." The shop keeper says, "I'm sorry we ran out of coffee." The guy says, "All right I'll just have coffee than"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why is Tommy dead? Because he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What has four legs but can't walk? A tranquilized bear

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Two birds were sitting on a perch, one turned and said to the other, "Do you smell fish?"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Your momma's so old she might die soon.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

whats white a smells like paint. whtie paint.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Okay, seriously I'm done. I try to make a joke but I don't think I can do it anymore. I'm not funny I'm just a little coward who offers nothing to life. I should just kill myself. Fuck this joke, fuck you.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Two clowns are walking down the street The first says, "Whats better sunshine or rainbows?" The second says nothing, then casually picks up a brick and beats the other clown to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why did the drug dealer die... because he got terminal cancer and died during the first 3 weeks

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the sperm cross the road? It didn't, as sperm cells have tails not legs, and are therefore incapable of crossing roads.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock knock Who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave Smith.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

5 Italian guys from Long Island

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a secret agent that lives in a bottle of washing up liquid? Bubble-0-7

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks "what will you have". The man says "Friendship" and bursts out crying. At this point he is making a scene and security will have too be called.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why didn't the boy's parents throw him a birthday party? Because his father is in jail for drug possession and his mother is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is worse than braking a fingernail, Learing that a clown raped your entire family

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats red and black and has 8 legs? 4 dead african babies.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops