Q: What do you call a fish with no eye? A: Fssshh

Chuck Norris can carry very heavy objects.

Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off. Who was left? Repeat. Yeah.

Why did Chuck Norris eat a sandwich? Because he was hungry.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, wanna f***.

What do you get when you put a goat and an owl together? A goat and an owl

Roses are brown. Violets are brown. Who pooped in my garden?

Two muffins are being baked in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin "Boy, it sure is getting hot in here," and the other muffin replies "yeah, that's because it's an oven."

How do you make a plumber cry? You steal his princess

a kid was running across the street. he just got hit by a truck

How many chickens does it take to cross the road? It only takes 1 chicken to cross the road. You don't need a lot.

What's worse than finding a snake in your apple? Finding a snake in your apple

In Soviet Russia, everything you do will have an equal and opposite effect, for the laws of physics still apply in every part of the world. No matter where you are.

Where would it be hard to find handicapped parking? At the paralympics.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I hi Jacked your car And killed your family

a plane crashes on the boarder of america and mexico where do you bury the survivors. you dont bury the surviors

They see me rollin' They hatin' Patrolin they try to catch write a joke Try to catch me write a joke Try to catch me write a joke (tootle loo, I see you ;)

What do you call a giraffe without a neck? Dead.

Why did the chick cross the road? Because she's a gold digger homie, dat chick is greedy like a mofo. She be all up in your grill and sheit tryin' getchu to spend your money lik dat homie ditch dat hoe, she aint even worth it brotha.

2 black people and a mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The black person because they decided it would save gas if they all carpooled to their job.

seek beauty

Why is Joel even here? Sexperience.

Suzie has no arms. Knock Knock (whos there?) Not Suzie.

Knock knock. Who's there? A bad joke.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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