A boy grows up loving tractors. For birthday and Christmas each year he got a tractor toy of some kind, until the age of 17, when he finally gave up tractors and got himself a CD player. One day, listening to all the latest tunes with some headphones, he looks outside to see his neighbour's house on fire. He goes outside to find firemen trying to put out the blaze. He jumps into the blazing house and inhales as much as he can, which astonishingly puts out the blaze. A fireman confusing asked "How did you do that?" The boy replies, " I'm an ex-tractor fan."

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Roses are red violets are blue, your library book is overdue, and if you dont pay the fine...i'll punch you in the mouth.

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roses are red violets are blue pornhub is down ya mums facebook will do

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Why did the one friend hate the other friend? Because the one friend didnt do a map for social studies he should've done and skipped school for that class and when he came back, the other friend told the social studies teacher he was here and he had to turn in an unfinished poster and now he is a crybaby bitch about it.

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All the planets are named after gods Ours is named after dirt....

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Roses are red, Violets are violet,

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What's brown and sticky? Shit.

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An SQL query walks into a bar, sees two tables and asks if it can join them.

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What's worse than dividing by zero? Chuck Norris dividing your face!

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Knock-Knock Come in! ...

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Opinions are like assholes. I'm not sure how they are alike, but that seems to be the general consensus.

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What’s funnier than cancer? Most things, really.

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If i have a remote that can switch people to mute, the number 1 people will be asian, and it will be on the train.

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Stand back, I don't want to hit anyone with the axe.

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Why do black people drink cool-aid? Because it tastes good.

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A duck walks ino a bar...... f*ck this sh*t im going to candy land.

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Why did the deaf man ask for directions? He didn't as he knew he wouldnt have a clue what they are on about.

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Why did Teresa fall off the swing? She had no arms. Who is knocking at the door? Not Teresa.

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Q. how to kill the germ on a food. A. wash it with bleach.

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Why did the skeleton cross the street. He didn't.

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Three Jewish men walk into a butcher. They dont buy any pork products and thank the butcher for his services.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU CARE? LET THE POOR CHICKEN IN PEACE! No, seriously he was going to his mother's funeral.

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What do you call two babys with one head? I dont know either, answers on postcard please!

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A man walks into the kitchen tells the woman to make him a sandwich and walks out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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