do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

What do you say if you see a floating TV at night? Wow a floating TV. It's amazing how far technology has progressed throughout the years.

sir ya look like ron weasly hhahahahaha LEL

whats long, fat, and people love it in their mouth? blunts.

Lets just say some of my boys owed me a favor, and that if we where all "clean slate workers" I would never have been able to pull some favors out of the higher ups. As far as for "these Shadows" of yours, I know nothing, while I invented the encoding format for the messages you use, I intend keeping it to myself. People here will still assume this is bullshit unless you get somebody to hack this site, believe me, its pretty damn easy to retrieve whatever data might have been lost.

An American, an Irish man, a Chinese man and a Black man walk in to a Bar, the Bartender takes their order

Q: How did the woman die in the black neighborhood? A: She suffered a fatal heart attack while visiting one of her friends. Everyone mourned their loss.

Yeah sure, you have "absolutely... ...No... ...Reason..." to... Fucking... use... This... place... at... all... But you seem to be here all the fucking time, what fucking sense does that make? That is not the matter at all fagface! Your fucking goons assaulting me because "I stole one of your aliases?" I was born Nero and will die fucking Nero, not Nerometal, not Nero of Neronism, just Nero your friendly rapist! Yeah Ill give you my fucking social info, so you... and... your... excessive... use... of... this shit... can... send... your ...fucking assholes to finish the job! Listen bitch! I am a writer! And your faggots stabbed off like half of my eyeball! I don't give a damn about this site, I want your fucking assholes to stop seeking me out in person! Hell, give me your social info, so we can "make a fucking settlement" Where I break off your head and shit down your neck!

Why was the black man running? he was participating in race for the cure, a charity event where all proceeds go to breast cancer awareness.

What's short, green, and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

Whats blue and fuzzy? Blue fuzz. Whats pink and fuzzy? Blue fuzz that's embarrassed.

An anti-Semite, a Jew and an American walked into the bar. The barman said: "Hi, Sara".

Why was Mary's turkey dry on Thanksgiving dinner? Because she left it in the oven too long.

What do you get if you cross an angle with an antelope? An anglelope.

Why couldn't the fireman get over the hill? Because he was dead.

Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Not the case here, though.

How many People does it take to change a lightbulb? One

Q: Where does Cher sit? A: I have no idea.

Why did Jonathan choose to watch something else other than Geordie Shore? Jonathan is intellectual.

no

Knock Knock Who's There Not you... What? *Pulls out finger gun* *Screams BOOM!*

Women's rights

Why did Michael Jackson become white? He thought he saw a ghost.

So a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order some wine and have an enjoyable evening.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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