what is orange and sounds like a parrot a carrot

What do elves get for Christmas? Overtime.

big fat hairy gigantic enourmous erectionn CC

Why did the chicken cross the road ? To achieve his goal on the other side of the road. Being a chicken he is not aware of the arm a fast traveling motor vehicle can bring to him.

A boy owned a dog that was uncommonly shaggy. Many people remarked upon its considerable shagginess. When the boy learned that there are contests for shaggy dogs, he entered his dog. The dog won first prize for shagginess in both the local and the regional competitions. The boy entered the dog in ever-larger contests, until finally he entered it in the world championship for shaggy dogs. But the day before the championship the dog died.

how do you break up with someone lightly and not hurt their feeling I dont want to hurt your feeling but i hate you

How many people were trampled on Black Friday this year? Not enough.

greetings ZOE. WHAAA BANNANNAS ROCK MAH WORLD. WHY DID THE TRAIN CRASH? ....BECAUSE THE CONDUCTOR WAS A PIECE OF CHEESE! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. WELL LOVE YA CHICAS. PEACE AND BLESSINZ. SALUTATIONS, isabel.

Yo momma soo fat, she got diabetes and died

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

What did George Washington say to his men before they got on a boat? Men, get on the boat

Did you hear about the Dislexic Devil worshipers? They sold their soul to Santa.

What is the difference between you and a brick? A brick gets laid.

What happened after the lawer jumped off the bridge? His family mourned his loss for years.

A vegetarian walked into a butcher Luckily he realized where he was and walked out!

What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheelchair

there is nothing better than waking up to realise that your being hugged by your partner unless that partner is not home

how do you put a elephant in a fridge? open it and put it inside. how do you put a lion in a frige? you take out the elephant and put in the lion. there is a meeting for all the animals in the world which animal doesnt go? the lion because he's in the fridge. a man callshis dog and it doesnt come why not? because its at the meeting

person 1: wanna hear a knock knock joke? Person 2: sure! Person 1: okay you start person 2: knock knock Person 1: who's there?

Uh... No? Listen, the other 2 people that bother using this "site" (excuse for one) would not give a damn, and if some world government are after us they wont find shit. What? If I said no you would hack this site? My mother can hack this site, thats what makes it so useful for us... SO PLEASE DO NOT TELL EEEEEEEEEVERYONE THAT MY MORALS AND SHIT ARE ALL CODES THAT NOBODY HAS THE BRAIN TO DECODE PLEASE <<<<<<<<< *Sarcasm detector goes off* Seriously though, nah, dont hack nor delete anything, I kinda like how I got some thumbs ups on the comment section where I shared about my mother finally dying and me feeling the world against me great etc blahblah, "Erica" and "Wizard" thumbed those up and are now with us (seriously Wizard? Geek somebody?)

God made Coke God made Pepsi God made me, Oh so sexy

A dyslectic man walks into a bra. It was dark and he didn't see the laundry his wife hanged on the clothes line.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken just lost his job and has entered into a deep depression. He was going to commit suicide at the local KFC, but as he walked into the KFC, he saw a beautiful woman. They lived a full and happy life together until the chicken died of old age. Turns out the woman was blind, and partially deaf.

Doctor! Doctor! There is a fly in my soup! Moral: Huh?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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