Shaving your balls is just plain nuts!

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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

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A man goes to the hospital he says to the doctor while poking his leg it hurts here. Then he pokes his arm and here. Then his head and here. "Yes" the doctor says you've broken your finger.

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What's white and red all over? A white guy who walked in the ghetto.

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? Because she was hungry.

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-Look! Up in the sky! -It's a bird! -Yep.

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Why was the pirate not allowed into the movie? tickets were sold out

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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G

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yo moma so stupid she went to the dentist for a bluetooth.

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What is my cats favorite college? Harvard

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As far as I know, the day after tomorrow is going to be YOUR lucky day, because you will be tasting sausage for the first time with your lower lips... No seriously, you cant be virgin, you can tell me the truth, you like 24 or something?

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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Why wouldn't anyone want Helen Kellers dog? It's been buried for a long time...

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What did the strawberry say to the strawberry? Nothing because strawberries are fruit and can't talk

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Q : How many babies do you need to paint a wall A : It depends on how hard you throw

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roses are red violets are blue i have aids and so do you happy valentines day!

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How many eskimos does it take to build an igloo? It depends... probably about six or seven.

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What is the best way to run a race? Start out fast, run fast in the middle, and finish fast.

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What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

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how do u know when your in west virginia? when the houses have more wheels than the cars

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No soup for you!

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Me Doa Kong Oh, Hi! Come on in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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