What does a cookie and the twin towers have in common? They both crumble.

Roses are red Violets are blue one plus one Equals two

What's green and bounces? An envious kangaroo.

What did the bus say to the short bus? Heh, you're retarded..

If Chuck Norris has $5 and you have $5... that's $10.

your friend is so gay that he cuts of dicks as his part time job. and enjoys it.

If you were in a room with Osama bin Laden, Hitler, and a black guy and you had two bullets, who would you shoot? Seeing as this situation is logically impossible considering that Adolf Hitler died in the year 1945 and Osama bin Laden was born in the year 1957, I would be in a room with just a black guy and two bullets. Then I would proceed not to shoot the black guy on the fact that I enjoy the talking and learning about cultural diversities between the black and white races.

Smoke weed till i die nigga

Q: Why did the dead baby cross the road??? A: It was stapled to the chicken.

What happens when a chemist dies? They are given a proper funeral and buried.

If boobs are round. And so are balls. Then i just cant figure out why the sky is blue?

How do you fit 10,000,000 jews inside a car? It's not physically possible as no car can carry that many people.

what food wouldn't you take on holiday with you? any its all inclusive

Why did hitler kill the Jews? Because he had sever mental illnesses and anyone who thinks the holocaust is funny deserves to die a slow death.

why did matt die? He had cancer

A black man, a chinese man, and a dog decide to have a race. Unfortunately, they are shot by a sniper on a roof while still in the planning stages.

Why was the boy sad? I don't know, what do think I am? An umbrella? Why would you even think FOR A MOMENT that it's OK to just ASK me random stuff? Do you have ANY IDEA who I am?! I'm your worst nightmare, and if you ever ask me ANYTHING without permission again, or so help me I will drown the nearest pet goldfish. P.S. His cat died.

Do you like cheese? Yes. Okay.

Yo mama so fat! She should be concerned because diabetes is a serious problem that can lead to a heart attack. Also STOP EATING MCDONALDS.

Whats worse than 1 bee sting? 2 bee stings,whats worse than 2 bee stings? The holocaust Whats worse than the holocaust?.. 3 bee stings

Why did Sarah fall of the swing? Because she was very careless and swung too high.

Q: What is black, white and red all over? A: Interracial sex during the time which the bible has decreed as abhoration.

How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

What have the TV programmes Shameless, The Jeremy Kyle Show and Benidorm all have in common? They are all examples of modern British society

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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