Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

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Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

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What's an example of something quiet? Helen Keller.

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Q: why was the cat naked? A: its owner was drunk and thought he was shaving his own head.

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks then comes home to his whole family murderd and mutilated

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Why does girls have two left feet and two left hands? Because girls have no rights.

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c-? men, C-men

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What's the richest fish in the sea? The one you threw a quarter at.

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What did the snowman say when winter was ending? -Nothing you dumbass

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Why was the giant centipede full? Because it just ate half a dozen purebred golden retriever puppies by hiding all day in the poopy newspapers and emerging at night to eat the defenseless baby dogs in their sleep. BUM BUM BUM KSSSH!

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Bison: I just dont feel like having bread for breakfast again Sagat: You want some... Cornflakes? Bison: Ohohoh Ahahaha! Sagat: You like it? Bison: THIS IS DELICIOUS! Balrog: :( What about those tapes I made for you? You want me to...:( Bison: Balrog, shut up.

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Why didn't Susan go to school on show-and-tell day? Because she's dead.

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What did the white guy say to the Mexican guy? Nothing he realize that the Mexican guy probably didn't speak English and he couldn't speak Spanish so conversing with this man would have been pointless.

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How do you get a person to stop talking to you? Ask nicely to please be quiet and let me talk.

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I spilled spot remover on my dog, now hes gone.

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Children + my basement + my finger = yes

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2001, 2 airplains fly into the world trait centers. the pilots then had their licences taken away.

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What was the only animal to not board the ark in pairs? Loads of animals because it didn't happen.

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What did the woman say to the man before she had sex with him? "May I have sex with you, please?"

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Q: What do you call a drunk man driving a Corvette with no arms, no legs and a missing eye? A: A severely impaired driver

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? reading posts on this website that arent antijokes. Seriously poeople... you cant just say something that random than put something tragic. it has to be funny and tragic.

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Who has lots of friends, but smells like urinate feceas? Smelly McD, I lied about the friends.

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Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium BATMAN! Oh cemetery jokes

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What happened when the chicken got to the other side of the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops