A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

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Blonde: Hey, what does "Idk" mean? Blonde's friend: "I don't know" Blonde: Thank you for telling me, that has been bothering me for quite some time now.

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Anne frank dies days before camp was liberated.

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what's longer than my shlong? .... nothing

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What did the bird say to the other bird? Nothing because birds can't talk.

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Why did the white guy die because he had cancer

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Rain rain go away, and don't come back or else i will kill your family.

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What was the last thing to go through Kurt Cobain's mind? His teeth.

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why did Susay fall of the swing? Cause she had no arms

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Roses are red Zombies are hungry and blue My brain is half-eaten And what about you?

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Why did the man yell at his wall? Because it jumped out and scared him when he walked past

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Roses are blurry so is everything else I need glasses

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Why did the gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens foot.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says what will it be? The duck replies "lemonade!"

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Good job, son.

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What did the flower say to it's friends? I want to kill a Christmas tree.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm colorblind.

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A bunch of nuns were riding a three-seat bicycle. The seats were comfy and no one complained.

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Jim has five apples. He gives two apples to Joe. What is left? Fruit

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Whats black and yellow and makes you laugh? A bus full of niggers driving of a cliff

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What's 9+10? 19

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You know whats funnier than 24? What? 25.

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What did the gym coach tell his student? Come on! You can do it! Push harder!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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