Why did the man cry? Because his mom died in a terrible car accident.

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What do you call a baked bean falling from 10,000 feet? A baked bean

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What do you call a white duck? A quacker

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Q: why was the man punched in the face? A: I did like him.

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What do you call a purple apple? Bruised.

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how do you get an A in a class? idk never got on.

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Roses are blue Colton is gay

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WTF? If you look at life from the right, you might just see whats left, and just then I looked down at the midget as he said "Yo whats up?" I told him, hey do you like left? He said! DAAAAAMN RIIIIIGHT! I spent a while just standing there wondering what the hell was happening into my life, it was so right it was left and wrong... NeroMetal (No fucking idea what Neronism is, I just play streetfighter V and type books that confuse people)

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the squirrel.

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Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

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Who won the race? I don't know look it up.

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What is black and white and sleeps a lot? A tired zebra.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had down-syndrome

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what's the best way to get your younger sibling to stop being annoying? Shoot Him

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why did the fat woman die? ... because she tried to commit suicide and the ceiling collapsed on her.

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What did the vegetarian order for lunch? A dead baby.

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How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

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Hah, I bet a faggot that lost his balls in the war is "above" such things as seduction and all things straight! 25 million US dollars, send them to me within a week, or I will hunt you down by tracking down every single one of your fucking followers (all six of them), and make you wish you where dead. And tell me where you live, send me your sister so I can rape her, send me your boyfriend so I can cut him to pieces, send my your children so I can make sure your genes stop, send my your mothers tits so I can hang them on my wall, and kill your father and post the shit on youtube! Maybe then we are halfway close a settlement.

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"Have you guys ever seen Derrek Ashmores sisters? They are DTF if you know what I mean" - Jesse Ziegenbein

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Why couldnt Helen Keller drive? Because She was Blind you sexist asshole

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar. A good time was had by all, until closing time.

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A Mormon walks into a bar.

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A Mexican man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "haven't you got a damaged liver?" The Mexican replies "haven't you got a job to do?" The Mexican died 2 seconds later

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How do you fix a chimpanzee? With a monkey wrench

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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