- Anti Joke

What would happen if you put avocando, pineapple, sardines, peanut butter, brussel sprouts and milk into a blender and drank it. most probabley salmonala poisoning because the sardines were off.

roses are red violets are blue the sugar bowls empty so is your head

I don't mind gays unless they shove it down people's throats.

How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? ...You mean, you don't know?

Phone rings Hello? Hi, is your refrigerator running? No, it actually broke down yesterday. Are you the repair man? Yes, the repairs will cost $400

A Polish man is walking down the street carrying a brown paper bag. He runs into one of his buddies, who asks, "Hey! What's in the bag?" The man tells his friend that he has some fish in the bag. His friend says, "Well, I'll make you a bet. If I can guess how many fish you have in the bag, you'll have to give me one." The man replies, "I'm sorry, my friend, but gambling is against my morals, especially when my family's only nutrition for the week is on the line."

What is black and white and red all over? Black people in a blender. I lied about the white

What's the best part about having sex with twenty four year olds? There's twenty of them.

(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

Knock knock. Who's there? Stop fucking around I told you I was coming. I'm sorry. Come in.

How do you know it's a bad day? When your brain does not release a high enough level of seratonin.

Why was the man sad? His wife left

A Redhead, a Blonde, and a Brunette are all standing on top of a cliff in Ireland. They took a few pictures, and all in all it was a lovely vacation.

What's silent but deadly? A baby falling from a 10 story building

Why did the chicken rape your...wait, that's not how it goes!

A black man and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? Nobody, the car is parked while they look at a map for directions because doing that while you are driving would be very dangerous and could result in a collision.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What do you give a sick bird? Tweetment.

I have CDO it's like OCD but in the right order

This made my day: The Japanese verb "to drink" is "nomimasu". [L]

Why was the kid dizzy? He ran in a circle repeatedly.

Why can't Jimmy talk? He's dead.

Whats the difference between a baby and a sandwhich... I dont rape my sandwhiches before i eat them

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilate was a loaf of bread.

What is the answer to the question of life? Over 9000

What would happen if you put avocando, pineapple, sardines, peanut butter, brussel sprouts and milk into a blender and drank it. most probabley salmonala poisoning because the sardines were off.

roses are red violets are blue the sugar bowls empty so is your head

I don't mind gays unless they shove it down people's throats.

How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? ...You mean, you don't know?

Phone rings Hello? Hi, is your refrigerator running? No, it actually broke down yesterday. Are you the repair man? Yes, the repairs will cost $400

What is black and white and red all over? Black people in a blender. I lied about the white

What's the best part about having sex with twenty four year olds? There's twenty of them.

(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

Knock knock. Who's there? Stop fucking around I told you I was coming. I'm sorry. Come in.

How do you know it's a bad day? When your brain does not release a high enough level of seratonin.

Why was the man sad? His wife left

A Redhead, a Blonde, and a Brunette are all standing on top of a cliff in Ireland. They took a few pictures, and all in all it was a lovely vacation.

What's silent but deadly? A baby falling from a 10 story building

Why did the chicken rape your...wait, that's not how it goes!

A black man and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? Nobody, the car is parked while they look at a map for directions because doing that while you are driving would be very dangerous and could result in a collision.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

What do you give a sick bird? Tweetment.

I have CDO it's like OCD but in the right order

This made my day: The Japanese verb "to drink" is "nomimasu". [L]

Why was the kid dizzy? He ran in a circle repeatedly.

Why can't Jimmy talk? He's dead.

Whats the difference between a baby and a sandwhich... I dont rape my sandwhiches before i eat them

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilate was a loaf of bread.

What is the answer to the question of life? Over 9000

What would happen if you put avocando, pineapple, sardines, peanut butter, brussel sprouts and milk into a blender and drank it. most probabley salmonala poisoning because the sardines were off.

roses are red violets are blue the sugar bowls empty so is your head

I don't mind gays unless they shove it down people's throats.

How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? ...You mean, you don't know?

*Phone rings* Hello? Hi, is your refrigerator running? No, it actually broke down yesterday. Are you the repair man? Yes, the repairs will cost $400

What is black and white and red all over? Black people in a blender. I lied about the white

What's the best part about having sex with twenty four year olds? There's twenty of them.

(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

Knock knock. Who's there? Stop fucking around I told you I was coming. I'm sorry. Come in.

How do you know it's a bad day? When your brain does not release a high enough level of seratonin.

Why was the man sad? His wife left

A Redhead, a Blonde, and a Brunette are all standing on top of a cliff in Ireland. They took a few pictures, and all in all it was a lovely vacation.

What's silent but deadly? A baby falling from a 10 story building

Why did the chicken rape your...wait, that's not how it goes!

A black man and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? Nobody, the car is parked while they look at a map for directions because doing that while you are driving would be very dangerous and could result in a collision.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

Phone rings Hello? Hi, is your refrigerator running? No, it actually broke down yesterday. Are you the repair man? Yes, the repairs will cost $400