Why can't Jimmy talk? He's dead.

What do you give a sick bird? Tweetment.

Why couldn't the little boy see? His eyes were closed.

Knock knock! who's there? Doctor Doctor who? No, this is your actual doctor, you have cancer.

What the difference between a duck? One of the legs is both the same.

Two latino men are drinking at a bar. Suddenly, one man falls off his barstool, unconscious. Later that day, he was diagnosed with pancreatitis, and died never having dealt with his severe alcoholism.

'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' That's fantastic because Peter Piper was paralyzed and the doctors said he would never be able tomove is arms or legs again, and there he is picking a peck of pickled peppers. I applaud you Peter Piper.

Roses are red, violets are blue if God makes us beautiful, Who made you?

Birdie Birdie in the Sky, Left a message in my eye ... So I shot the little bitch

So, there's three blondes. Two of them walk into a bar. The third one missed it.

What is Dora the Explorer's favorite food? Pussy.

What's black, white, and can't turn around in a phone booth? A nun with a javelin through her chest.

Why did the sailor fall off the boat? Because vampires arent real.

What do you call a mexican who works at a landscaping business? A hard working man who is trying to provide money for his family

A musician without any music walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Who do you think you are, a hobbit?" The musician without any music says,"yeah" and turns into a hobbit

Q: How to fit 10 babies in a suitcase? A: By blender Q: How to get the babies out of the suitcase? A: Using a straw.

What do you call a deer with only one leg? A one legged deer. What do you call a deer with one leg, one eye and lives in Rome? Still a one legged deer.

Are you from Tennesse because my uncle grew up there and I was wondering if you knew him.

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it won't come anyways.

Are you from Tennessee? Because you look like a product of incest

A boy kills DEER & cooks it & doesn't tell friends what it is. He gives a clue "Its what my girlfriend calls Me!..

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Traffic was too backed-up so the chicken took a different route.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

What's the difference between an elephant & a toaster? ....you can't tell the difference between an elephant & a toaster??

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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