Two muffins are sitting in an oven.

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a guys was walking down the street in Queens. a attractive young woman walked by. He was interested in here so he said nice things and they ended up going on a date. She had a big butt.

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Q: What's green, red, and covered in cookie crumbs? A: A dead girl scout.

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What is worse than finding a real joke on Anti-joke.com? Starving children in Africa.

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What do you call a quadriplegic man at a museum? "Sir," unless you happen to know his given name, in which case it would be most polite to call him that.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Three guys walk into a bar.....The fourth one ducks...

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what doesn't kill you makes you crippled for life because you lost use of your legs in a tragic car accident

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roses are blue violets are green I am colorblind

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Crossing Guard union had reached a collective agreement and they had returned to work and it was safe to cross once again.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

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When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

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Why did the boy cry? His Parents died.

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Roses aren't blue Violets aren't red She was my ex wife But now she's just dead.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Your definitely a virgin, too bad your mom isn't too.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Matters the size of the bathtub and the size of the babies.

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at his genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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How do you make an ugly person not ugly? Put a bag over their head. With,, a smiley face.

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Why did the black cop pull the white guy over? He was going approximately 52 miles per hour on a 40 miles per hour speed limited road.

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What happens when a black man dies in France? A funeral procession.

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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Where was Sally when the bomb went off? Everywhere...

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If a tree falls on a woman, and no one is around to hear it, what is a tree doing in the kitchen?

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Why didnt suzy give mary i high five? because i cut off her hand

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops