why did jimmy loose the bike race. because he never entered.

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So a moose walks into a grocery store and asks the clerk, who is a penguin, "Where's the bread?" And the penguin says "On isle three!" But, when the moose gets to isle three... The bread isn't there!

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Why did the black man pick up a bucket of fried chicken? Because it's delicious.

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Whats worse than getting shot in the foot? Watching each member of your family get shot in the foot.

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How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? 17

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Lad: Whats that smell Girl: Nothing Lad: That is right nothing now get into the kitchen!

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why was the woman silent? she lost the ability to speak in a tragic boating accident in which her vocals chords were damaged thus making it incapable for her to utter anything

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Why did the blonde commit suicide? Because she hated her life.

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What did one wall say to the other wall? Nothing. Walls are inanimate objects and thus incapable of conversing with one another.

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a man walks in to a bar. he says oww.

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where would you find a blind man's car? exactly where he left it...

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What did the little girl say after her dad hit her? Nothing. She was a month old and died instantly.

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So I was standing in line at the grocery store and this little old lady let me cut in front of her. It was neat.

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hi

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Jesse likes to jack off and lick the white stuff off of his balls and digest it

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

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Knock Knock The guy opens the door

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Why does Eric Clapton use a Mac? Because he prefers Macs.

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Did you hear about the blind man who got stuck by a bus? Poor guy never saw it coming.

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This "anti-joke" got me an A+ many many years ago, shortened though, so you can make Your own conclusions. Beware of the rising sight, do not stare at the sunny dry sky... The poles... Do not stare at the blood as it drips it, the sand covered ground soaked red... Cover your ears! The seal is not looking above, with but is shouting to you! "WHY DID YOU FORSAKE ME!!!" HE ASKS AS YOU AGAIN AND AGAIN HIT HIM, smirking sadistically, SMILING, yes... Even LAUGHING! The rain soaks you wet, as the skies themselves cry and hide in shame... ...The seal is broken, so watch as your kin, those among your children twist to hellish beasts whose demon is the only name they bear... Readying to conquer the world! ...Yet they need to be certain, to be certain that your master is gone, yet we have waited FOR TOO DAMN LONG! The master answers no more, darkness covers the skies as the blood soaked earth beyond your feet decays, yet you feel no fear, no adrenaline pumping, no tears, no soul crushing fear! What kind of MONSTER ARE YOU? Darkness falls, you struggle with no defense... No excuse... You BROKE THE SEAL! The first three awaken, as the conquest of this world IS AT HAND OF THE DEMONS! ...This leads to war... To strife, to disease!... Until you cannot run no more... Hope... You fall to your knees saying your last prayers, as the pale one appears before you... Jesus? No, his hateful father which abandoned you over two thousand years ago... ...Salvation you shout to the skies! Our savior is here! As the forces of darkness stare in defeat... Yet as his father, the father of sin, the father of the seal gazes into your soul with red eyes and demonic teeth and laughs, you no longer wonder where is your God, nor what has he become... ...But rather what you made him, the light of glory, now the new KING OF DARKNESS! AND ALL THANKS TO YOU MOCKING THE MEMORY OF HIS SONS DEATH! You had it coming, this world belongs to us... And we are not your kind... TRUE GLORY BE KNOWN TO ALL! THE ERA OF THE TRUE DEMONS IS OVER! ...You are the last remaining, lying on the floor broken, the very last words you hear... ...Revenge is mine! Humanity is dead... You feel the holy spirit, yet all you feel is satisfied quenched screams of centuries, even millenia of revenge... ...Rule new children of the dark, humanity is taking its deepest, saddest last breaths, "The death of my only true son, shall no longer pass me by" God has finally returned... But not to save you... ...God is against you! and you know why FAR TOO WELL!... :You know far too well who I am... But then again, do you know me and what I am at all? You will... Soon enough children of the forsaken one... Because I am his prophet.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I am white and I like cold food

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Why did the chicken cross the traffic filled road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? Chicken delivery.

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why did the couple sell their house? their children were all raped and then murdered in it and they cant stand the memories

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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