Stephen Hawking walks into a bar

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What is big, white, and heavy ? A fridge

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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What do you do to become a hairdresser? Set Off the fire alarm

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who practices the Jewish religion. A pizza is an italian dish consisting of dough, cheese, and tomato sauce.

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A gay man walks into a pregnant woman

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A lion walks into petsmart and asks the cashier were the dog food is. The Cashier replies your a cat and the cat food is in isle 4 you pussy

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothin. You already told her twice.

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What happens when you cross a Labrador and a Poodle. A species of dog that has been cross bred.

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Where did Susie go after the explosion? I don't know: she was nowhere near the explosion at the time that it happened. She probably got up to use the bathroom.

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A deaf man walks into a bar. Someone yells, "FIRE!" and everyone evacuates. The deaf man does not hear him and dies horribly.

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how do you stop a baby from crying? hit it with a brick.

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How many fish does it take to brush their teeth? Jp's worth of fish isn't enough.

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Why was the little girl crying? She got raped by a giant scorpion.

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How do Mexicans like their eggs? It's a matter of personal opinion, of course.

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Why are trees green? I have no idea

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A black guy and a mexican get into a car Who is driving? Whoever takes a seat in the drivers side of the car

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I've just been struck by an enormous bolt of lightning. I am covered in boils and my house is full of frogs. I strongly recommend that when referring to God, always use the upper case 'H' on all personal pronouns.

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how many jews does it take to fit in a mid-size sedan? -5 comfortably.

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How far can a baby fly? As far as you can throw it.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's Roses are red

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What's worse than reading the same joke multiple times? Having cancer.

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What's a black mans favorite thing to do Depends on that particular mans likes and interests

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Why did the platypus have no friends? Platipi are antisocial creatures by nature.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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