Dig a big hole in your front yard and wait next to it so when people walk by they'll ask "Why is there a hole in your front yard?" to whcih you will reply "I don't know. Do you wanna play Monopoly?"

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

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Why the guy without two hands at the beach was so excited? Because he couldn't scratch his asshole.

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What is both blue and yellow at the same time? Green.

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Lewis

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911 jokes are just plane wrong

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I was going to tell a joke about your mom's vagina, but that's overused.

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What do u call a dumb Asian. An american

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Why is it a bad idea to stand in a thunder and lightning storm with a metal rod? Because you will get wet from the rain.

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Why is the moon gray? Why is it not?

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Did I tell you about when I hit a cat with my car? No, what happened? I hit a cat.

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Horse.

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Q: What's the worst part about having sex with a cougar? A: Dying...

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What's is the worst thing america has done? Jersey Shore, We mad those idiots rich.

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Have you heard the one of the two headed man an the horse? Neither have I

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That Rachael chick needs to get back in the kitchen

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What do you call an Englishman, an Irishman and a Chineseman playing football? 3 friends playing their favourite sport.

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whats worse than 10 babies in a blender 1 baby in 10 blenders

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Roses are der Violets are eulb I am dyslexic

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What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

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What's your star sign? Cancer. Oh you're gonna die. AWKWARD.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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