Ben Affleck

i have a pet duck, when i take it a bath i use cold water, if i use hot water it and i drop a carrot in the tub it will think im cooking it.

What do you call a man who can't sing. Untalented and he should probably find a new profession

Q: The girl fell for the guy, but the guy was sad about it, why? A: Because she fell off a cliff.

What is a slave fighting in a pit of Rome? Just a slave. Who cares?

How many owls can you fit in a bath tub?

Why can't you get a pterodactyl use the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

An aspiring lawyer walks into a Bar. He will find out if he passed in a few months.

Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

q.how do u kill a jew? a.you glue a penny to the bottom of a pool

What do you call a person who is black? A black person.

Why did the little boy tell his classmates jokes? To try and fit in for once.

A unicorn, a smart blonde, a dragon, and a hobo are in a maze who gets out first? The hobo. The other 3 don't exist. By Adam Chebali

A german police officer sees a Rabbi. Nothing happens, it's 2011

Why did the man drop one dozen long stem roses? Because he was hit by a taxi cab

Why did the boy drown? Because he was actually a brick. I lied about him being a boy.

Man: Am i going to be alright? Doctor: No, you're going to die.

What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked.

Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? None they're dead

What's worse than the holocaust? Microwaveable jellied horse nipple

Bryson got a concussion...he died

Your momma is so ugly... Yeah, yeah, yeah my momma's ugly, but guess what, at least I'm not an orphan asshole.

What do you can a stinky mexican? Whatevet his name may be. Possibly Jose

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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