why did the chicken cross the road? because aliens dont wear purple hats.

How do you make a dead baby float? Two scoops of vanilla ice cream and two scoops of dead baby.

So I was walking down the street the other day, I went to the shop.

A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

A blonde just got a call from her boyfriend. He said i'll meet you at your house, so the blonde drove home, excited. Once the blonde got home her boyfriend was having sex with another girl. The blonde burst into tears and pulled out her gun then stuck it to her head. " No dont do it!" her boyfriend said!...... the blonde, not knowing what to do next said, " Shut up you cheater you're next!"

Why was the blonde so dumb? Because she came from a very poor family and could not afford a decent education

What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken

I was once a hamster.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He is suicidal and should probably get help.

Whats green and smells like a red apple? A green apple

You're always working, why don't you spend some time with your daughter? be a good father. But i already am. We're sleeping together while you work every night.

Yo mama so fat when she went to the ocean the whales started to sing we are family even though your fatter than me

What's funny about anti-humor? Nothing.

why did the chair brake? because a car smashed into it. where did it go? all the way to china. whats 3+4? why did the Chinese man get this wrong? Because a chair was in his head.

Why was billy made fun of his whole life? Because he's mentally retarded

Why should you be scared when a black man asks you, "What are looking at?" Because if he is over the age of 18, he should know better than to end a sentence with a preposition, unless of course, he never had an education, in which case... you should probably run for your life.

A: Knock knock B:The door is open.

What happened when the wife refused to make her husband a sandwich? Since he was paralyzed from the neck down, he starved to death.

Q; What feels like plastic and tastes fake? A: School Food

What is red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To pick up the remains of the thousands of his friends that lost their lives to this joke.

DON'T LOOK A GIFT HORSE IN THE MOUTH BECAUSE HORSES HAVE BAD BREATH

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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